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[Mathel]

Granted. You were a clown. Half of the people were scared of you, the rest laughed at you. You were forced to stop being clown after an incident involving the president of USA, elephant dung  and duct tape.

I wish to be a steel colossus. (A variation of the DF bronze colossus)

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted. Your variation is that you are 3 inches tall.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener.

[blueturtle1134]

Granted. You used to be. You aren't anymore. You are now a fruitcake.

I wish I could eat that fruitcake.

[Mathel]

Granted. You can eat thefruitcake. But know, that the transformation will wear out in 6 hours and the fruitcake's material will turn back to Oscar Meyer weiner material. This will result in 5d4 poison damage, as you have wrong chemical compounds in places.

I wish to be the wizard that did it. (The transmogrification from OSw to fruitcake.)

[Rockeater]

Granted, You are arrested for sexual harassment of Oscar Meyer.

I wish trains weren't late all the time.

[King Zultan]

Granted, the trains are never late because they have all shut down permanently and were dismantled and scraped.

I wish people didn't drive like assholes.

[wierd]

Granted. They drive like dicks instead.

I wish the aliens would just blow up the planet already.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, they blow up Venus.
You didn't specify WHICH planet.


I wish for something decent to watch on Netflix.
Be it an anime, TV show, or a movie. Whatever, I just want to be entertained.

[wierd]

Granted, but it is not available in your region, due to regional restrictions. All you can find are old sitcoms, B grade horror movies, and spaghetti westerns.

I wish to stop being so sardonic all the time.

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted. You no longer identify as a member of [this] community.

I wish I was smart enough to find this stuff without wikipedia.

[Rockeater]

Granted, now you are aware of all commune in France.

I wish I could have my job later in the day.

[pikachu17]

Granted. However, it is a Venusian day. You won't get the job until 114 Earth-days are up.

I wish I was an Oscar-Meyer wiener.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are eaten by a hungry tourist.

I wish to travel to Venus and back and survive it without lasting health issues.

[Madman198237]

Granted.

Sadly, the spinning, lead-walled spacecraft you made the journey in doesn't exactly give you any neat views, and because you can't land on the surface you don't even get to take any NEW pictures, just take new versions of old pictures of Venus's cloud-tops, and is often nausea-inducing as your inner ear has repeated panic attacks.

Overall, it's a pretty mediocre vacation...and it also took up a couple of years of your life for no real gain.

I wish for a benevolent world government without corruption...and that is capable of providing the actual best for everyone.
[HA, corrupt this one!]

[Dunamisdeos]

The government of Venus is now benevolent, and provides the best possible care and service to its citizens.They destroy the earth in order to prevent future competition between our two planets.

I wish for some fried chicken.