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[Rockeater]

Granted, it doesn't work and you look weird.

I wish for a paperclip maximizer

[pikachu17]

Universal Paperclips.

I wish for chickens.

[birdy51]

Granted, though these chickens are bigger than you are and you happen to look kind of tasty.

I wish life were simpler.

[Rockeater]

Granted, All life are now spheres, making all calculations much easier.

I wish I had a portal gun.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but it only shoots one way portals in to random caves.

I wish people could breath water.

[KittyTac]

Granted. People breathe only water. Anyone not in water immediately suffocates.

I wish that No Man's Sky wouldn't suck.

[NRDL]

Granted, No Man's Sky blows instead.

I wish for eternal, youthful life that I can terminate anytime I want.

[IndigoFenix]

Granted, your age has been locked at 4 years old.

I wish I had the power to command bees.

[Leonardo8]

Granted. Bees do everything you command and only that, and since you can't micromenage all bees in the world they go extinct causing an ecological catastrophe.

I wish i could jump in and out of books, movies and comics settings at will.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but you have to bring someone you know with you to enter and leave them behind to leave.

I wish for the ability to teleport without killing myself.

[Mathel]

Granted. It kills the nearest person to your destination whenever you do it.

I wish to be able to mindcontrol computers.

[Rockeater]

Granted, you get a worm from one of them

I wish I could walk on walls

[KittyTac]

Granted. You can ONLY walk on walls. This is awkward.

I wish No Man's Sky was good.

[Gigabytebob]

granted but it becomes so good the only game anyone plays anymore is no mans sky as no man will play anything else

I wish adamantine was a real metal

[Rockeater]

Granted, We breached HFS 1,752 times

I wish for a cookie that won't hurt anyone