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[Puppyguard]

Granted, the touch of an earthly cookie on your godly lips contminate and kill you.

Wait, who said I was going to eat the cookie? I only wished for one.

Granted. I am resummoned and can no longer die by cookies. Or anything earthly, for that matter.

I wish Rockeater would become a cookie.

[King Zultan]

Granted, he becomes a cookie made of rocks.

I wish that every one would start wearing hats all the time.

[Rockeater]

Granted,this make it harder to see the spaceships invading.

I wish shops where closer to my house.

[Screech9791]

Granted, they're all above your house, and gravity does it's thing.

I wish beavers ate rocks instead of trees.

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted, beavers only eat concrete. They thrive in the ruins of our once-great cities.

I wish for magnetic superpowers.

[Rockeater]

Granted, Your right hand is now magnetic north and left magnetic south, they are stuck together.

I wish I could shoot lasers out of my hand.

[Imic]

Granted.
Because of the way you voiced your opinion, the lazers explode p, cutting a hole right through planet earth. The lazer comes around the other side of the universe at the speed of light,  and you die of old age.

I wish that the bay12 forums gained more users.

[KittyTac]

See Puppyguard's signature.

I wish that nobody new would come to Bay12, but the current users wouldn't lose interest and would become immortal.

[Imic]

See Puppyguard's sig, but then pretend that it says

Granted. The mambers of Bay12 slowly begin to detest each other, eventually declaring internet war over someone saying that someone else's sig was taken from someone who's best friend's minecraft dog was gay, bpthus eventually destroying all of planet earth, and leaving Toady to laugh at the pain and suffering of the thousands killed all because a dog licked another dog's arse.

I wish that I was famous.

[wierd]

Granted.
You gain international notoriety after you lose your mind while visiting Britain.  Apparently smearing "I FUCKED THE QUEEN IN THE ASS LAST NIGHT" in feces on the side of big ben with a giant brush, Banski style, was not a very good idea. Filming it live on Facebook was an even worse idea. INTERPOL has a warrant for your arrest, and there is a huge fiasco with jurisdiction and extradition proceedings.  Half of the British population wants you dead, the other half wants to give you a beer.

I wish my sore throat would go away. (Without killing me, requiring a tracheotomy, or other horrific "solution")

[Rockeater]

Granted,You get new experimental pills which take it away,But they find them in your next blood test and you taken to jail for stealing them.

I wish I could go home early if I have nothing to do at my job.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you get to go home early, because the company you work for is going out of business.

I wish that magic was real.

[wierd]

Granted

The sudden and unexplainable appearance of a new fundemental force that interacts strongly with sentient intention causes horrible consequences all through the universe, including but not limited to, the causation of false vacuum collapses, faster than light propagation of phenomena, and worst of all, both at once.

I wish I could think of a wish right now.

[Rockeater]

Granted,You lose your arm at a horrific wombat accident and you wish for an awesome robotic arm

I wish wierd will get an awesome robotic arm.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, it's made of your flesh and bone combined with metal.

I wish the post button in bay12 forums was 1% bigger.