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[TD1]

Granted. Your idea is to have ideas.

I wish for a pet fire breathing dragon which can not in any way inconvenience me.

[GigaGiant]

Granted. Your pet dragon lives in another country, so you don't have to suffer the inconveniences of feeding it, training it, or spending time with it. Congrats!

I wish I had a pet lizard.

[TD1]

Granted. Your pet lizard is a dragon, so you have to spend time feeding it, training it, spending time with it, and having your house burned down by it.

I wish for infinite monies.

[deathpunch578]

Granted, now because of your infinite money the economy collapses due to the currency being worth less.

I wish I was on the moon

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish for a friendly pet bear that cannot hurt a human.

okay, story time.
so in my town (middle of nowhere Illinois) some guy had a "pet" bear (the bear was in a cage in his front yard, this guy lived close to a lot of children and somewhat close to a highway) but the thing is he couldn't get arrested for this because there was a loophole in the law (think it was banning exotic animals) that made it legal to own a bear.
eventually they made a new law banning bears from being pets.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, but without any form of oxygen or protection against the hazards of space you die rather quickly.

I wish for a friendly in the traditional sense, uncorrupted genie.

[Maximum Spin]

Your friendly and uncorrupted genie is in fact a total ingénue, and he ruins your wishes through innocent misunderstanding instead of malice. Relatedly, you now have a ten-inch pianist.

I wish that future grantings of wishes for other people would have side effects that are beneficial for me personally, such as, for example, me getting a life insurance payout when deathpunch died on the moon.

[Paxiecrunchle]

GRANTED, however the FBI and IRS BOTH WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU YOU KEEP GETTING ABSURD AMOUNTS OF MONEY LON A REGULAR BASIS AND ROUTINLEY HARRASS YOU FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS.

I wish for the ability to resurrect dead 'people' (in the broad sense)up to and including Alex the Parrot with the stipulation that all their memories remain intact and that they don't rot or anything nasty like that, thank you.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, unfortunately this has the side effect of shrinking them down to ant size.
Maximum spin is granted $5,000. He is quickly hounded by the FBI.

I wish for a pickaxe.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted, unfortunately this has the side effect of shrinking them down to ant size.

Hey, hey, what about me? Paxiecrunchle clearly granted my wish, therefore this needs to benefit me somehow.

[Puppyguard]

Hey, hey, what about me? Paxiecrunchle clearly granted my wish, therefore this needs to benefit me somehow.

Woops, I forgot. thanks for reminding me.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you now have a pickaxe and it is made of wool.


I wish for a shovel.

[pikachu17]

Maximum Spin beats you over the head with a shovel, having cracked from all  the pressure of the FBI hounding him. Maximum Spin goes to jail for your murder. However, jail is the perfect place to be when the zombie apocalypse hits, as it is already fortified.

I wish I was good at killing the afore-mentioned zombies.

[Madman198237]

Granted. If only someone would give you a kinetic-bombardment platform, you'd be capable of killing everything by dropping tungsten rods from orbit, without even doing the math.

But nobody has one to give you.



I wish for an end to the zombie apocalypse, because they're just overdone.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, however they are replaced with a vamirocaplypse.

[GigaGiant]

I wish that this wish was granted by myself.

Granted. I have accomplished nothing.

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I wish people would stop forgetting to make wishes.