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[Sir Elventide]

Granted. However, for every second the time machine takes you back into the past, 200 people die at your destination. Soon you disappear as you ancestor die as well with the knowledge that you are causing all of this. On the bright side, E. B.'s ancestor die as well so you technically stopped him from enslaving humanity.

I wish for the ability to decide other's fates, literally.

[Dunamisdeos]

LITERALLY INDEED. You can now decide the fate of a Mr. Julius Other of Pennsauken NJ. Your apostrophe was a catastrophe for your wish. Additionally as specified, multiple fates must be designated for Mr. Other, thereby destroying your absolute control.

I wish for more post-it notes.

[VolcanoQueen]

Granted. You get more post-it notes. Many, many more post-it notes. The post-it notes cover the entire world and everyone suffocates.

I wish I had more money for video games.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. However, since you spent all your money on video games, you have no money for rent and food. You cursed your wish as you sleep inside a cardboard box, starving. You then sell your games for money to buy food, defeating the purpose of your wish.

I wish that people think before saying anything.

[AzyWng]

Granted.

Freestyle rap is no longer an art form, and the loss of this vital pillar of modern culture gradually causes society to degrade into a slew of sex, drugs, and memes that none can escape, let alone survive.

I wish people would think before doing.

[Gigabytebob]

Granted they think but do it anyway

I wish i knew the secrets of life and death

[Ultimuh]

Granted. However, the knowledge you gain drive you to insanity.
You are indefinitely lodged in an asylum, where psychiatrists periodically attempts too poke at whatever thoughts your brain seem to conjure up.


I wish for more.. things.. in general. Not just to me, but to everyone.

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted they think but do it anyway

I wish i knew the secrets of life and death

NINJAD. You can recall any part of [this book] from memory. Congratulations

A near-infinite number of perfectly generic, gray cubes fall from the sky and cover the earth in a perfectly even fashion. All plant life dies from the lack of sunlight.

I wish to not be ninja'd again.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You get banned, which means you couldnt post anyway.

I wish i didnt have to work tonight

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. You don't have to work tonight...because you have been fired.

I wish to eat Hellstar Remina

[Maximum Spin]

Okay. Earlier, you wished you were Hellstar Remina, so you eat yourself gruesomely. It's even weirder since you were already dead.

I wish there was no such thing as art.

[KittyTac]

Video games can be considered art. DF ceases to exist.

I wish for more kittens.

[Gigabytebob]

Granted. you get more kitten stew

I wish for a cure all cream that duplicates itself

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, the world Is quickly covered in cure all cream causing humanity to collectiley beome immortal but not impervious to pain or aging, a slow age a of disease free misery Insures as many people wait for hundreds of years to finally be crushed under the wait of the crem that has filled their lungs but will not let them easily die.

I wish we had more continuity and that the above incident is deemed non-canon.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. Your alien son rewinds time so that the previous granting didn't happen. Wait, that's too far OH GOD THE PONIES ARE BACK RUN

I wish Puppyguard would kill the ponies but not try to kill me afterward this time.