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[Puppyguard]

Granted, Cancer is cured. Hospitals everywhere go out of business as their main source of income disappears. Soon, another epidemic occurs but because the hospitals are so understaffed it quickly spirals out of control and 95% of the earth's population dies.

I wish space travel wasn't so expensive and dangerous.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. Space travel becomes extremely cheap and easy because the Earth explodes and everyone is flung into space, and extremely safe because everyone's already too dead to be harmed further by it.

I wish more people understood the fundamental biological impossibility of things like "curing cancer"...

[VolcanoQueen]

Ninja'd^ Granted, the majority of Earth's population goes to space for vacations. Eventually, people decide to start living on space stations instead of on Earth. Earth is slowly abandoned and is ultimately used as an interstellar garbage dump. Future generations will never know the beauty of Earth's surface before it was abandoned.

Granted. People still try to do those impossible things, however.

I wish I wasn't ninja'd.

[Stirk]

Granted. It turns out that it is completely biologically possible, especially at the behest of an omnipotent wish.

Granted. You become Maximum Spin.

I wish more people would understand what a wish is.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted, but, in compensation, now you don't.

I wish there was an ocean of milk. I don't even like milk, it would just be aesthetic.

[Khan Boyzitbig]

Granted, people now make actual wishes, however magical decay occurs each time a wish is made which opens a random rip in space-time to a random location. Sometimes this creates puppies and kittens. Sometimes its Cthulhu... actually its usually Cthulhu and friends.
Ninjas...

An ocean of milk forms where you house once stood causing massive milk floods and untold destruction. Everyone agrees, however, that it is a very aesthetically pleasing event.

I wish for 2tons of 24 karat gold with no "unfortunate smelting accidents".

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. You get 4000lbs of 24k gold. Unfortunately, it hasn't been mined yet, and is also in the core.

I wish for, uh, turtles.

[VolcanoQueen]

Granted, you get turtles. The turtles murder you.

I wish these ninjas would stop ninja-ing.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted. They decide to forgo the sneakiness and cunning of their former occupation and get right to bombing you from orbit.

I wish my wishes were incorruptible.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. Your (future) wishes are now ungrantable.

I wish I had an orbital bombardment fleet.

[GigaGiant]

Granted. Unfortunately,  the world's nations misinterpret your intentions and brand you as an enemy of humanity.

I wish that the next wish involved ponies.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but it also involves murder.

I wish Giga would be murdered by ponies.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. We both get to watch. Then I push you toward the ponies and run away, ignoring the screaming.

I wish Puppyguard could take at least one of the ponies down with him.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, I jump in the air grabbing a pony by the neck and bringing it down to the ground. I stand up and smash my feet into its eyes repeatedly until it stops moving. I jump onto another, smashing its face with my fist as I bite down on its eye, tearing it out. After I kill all the ponies I hunt you down...

I wish the next wish would involve cookies.

[Enemy post]

Granted.

I wish my browser only had useful cookies.