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[Pearofclubs]

Granted!
You enter the "Absolutely Safe Capsule" from Mother 3.
Mercifully, you are not immortal, so you don't have to spend eternity in there. Just until you die of thirst.

I wish I had a glass of ice water.

[KittyTac]

((Who the hell is grisha5?)) It's ice IV water. You freeze.

I want a pet parrot.

[wierd]

Your wish is granted. You are now the proud owner of the parrot. It is remarkably easy to care for.

I wish the madness would stop. (ambiguity intensifies)

[Khan Boyzitbig]

Somehow I knew exactly what that link was before clicking it.

Granted, the madness stops for the moment only to be replaced by a massive warp storm centred on earth.

I wish for an iguanadon.

[KittyTac]

It kills you.

I wish for a loyal dinosaur army.

[Mathel]

Granted. It is loyal, but very stupid. It keeps eating civilians of your own side.

I wish for a tank (vehicle), fully armed and fueled. I shall use it with my friends against these dinosaurs.

((grisha5 was an almost-deified bay12 user.))

[King Zultan]

Granted, but you only drive it for a bit until the sink hole you didn't see consumes it, you, and your friends.

I wish to be in a bunker protected from the dinosaurs.

[KittyTac]

Granted, but pterodactyls aren't dinosaurs! AAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

I wish for a small, friendly hamster. What could go wrong?

[Ehndras]

Your pet hamster carries a resistant strain of Bubonic Plague, unleashing armageddon upon all Mankind. That, or it just kills your household and close neighbors/friends/coworkers.

I wish small mammals were not such a common vector for infectious diseases.

[KittyTac]

They become indestructible and develop killed instincts.

I wish for the new DF version to come out tomorrow.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but theres a fatal error that causes it to crqsh on worldgen because you tried to rush genius

I wish my weekends lasted longer

[Mathel]

Granted. Your weekends last twice as long (4 days). But your weeks now last 7 times as long (49 days.) So your weekend is 4/49 days.

I wish for the next DF version to come out within 5 months from now, work well and fast even on windows XP and be generally better than the last version.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. However, the bugs that make DF great are squashed in the new update and you now hate the game.

I wish to be a Dorf

[Gigabytebob]

Granted. you come over with a strange mood and kill your best friend to make a dwarf skin sock and because your best friend is dead you go insane and have to be put down by the militia

I wish elves went extinct 

[Mathel]

Granted. They either never existed or already went extinct.

I wish to elves, dwarves and other fantasy beigns to start existing.