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[Puppyguard]

Granted, you become a stone statue.

I wish I was immortal, with no negative effects on me, whilst keeping my original form.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted! Unfortunately, due to a clerical error, your wish was interpreted roughly as "I wish I was immortal (with no negative effects on me) whilst keeping my original form.", and, as soon as your form changes - such as by your hair growing a fraction of a millimetre - you drop dead.

I wish people who tried to con the wish-granting system with overly-specific conditions would be liquefied.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Wish denied, if such individuals were liquified the game would die.

I wish my alien son learned  empathy for his poor single paremt.

[Maximum Spin]

He becomes empathetic toward your struggles as an inferior life form, and, with alien tears in his eye-analogues, has you humanely euthanised.

(I don't think you're allowed to deny wishes, though. )

I wish all aliens would see me as their rightful leader and follow my every whim.

[Gigabytebob]

Granted. the US government sees this as an invasion though and nuke you the aliens and their homeworld

I wish that a slain dragon lie beneath my feet so i can say i killed it

[Maximum Spin]

You can't find a slain dragon, but a very lonely live one agrees to pretend to be slain for minimum wage. Honestly, it's a pretty good deal.

I wish to be immune to nuking while the granting of my previous wish took place.

[Pearofclubs]

Granted! 
The aliens hail you as their nuke free leader, and celebrate by pampering you in the standard Bursalonian fashion.
Culture shock doesn't begin to describe your issues with the relaxing bath they drew you of sulfuric acid, but due to the language barrier, your screams are misunderstood as being a good thing.

I wish I spoke a second language.

[KittyTac]

It's the language of aliens from another galaxy. Useless because you can't meet one.

I wish for an army of loyal indestructible kittens.

[Pearofclubs]

Granted! They're all black cats, so you're constantly having your path crossed. Everything that can possibly stem from bad luck happens to you, forever.

I wish I had an army of loyal indestructible puppies.

[KittyTac]

The barking is unbearable.

Speaking of un"bear"able, I wish for an army of loyal indestructible bear cubs.

[Mathel]

NINJAD^2

Granted. They stay indestructible but grow up and reproduce. The indestructibility is genetic, so the world is flooded by cats dogs bears, that can not be destroyed.
While they can be killed (by drowning for example), they are immune to most weapons and do not decompose after death. The Earth runs out of food, as carbon is bound in cat dog bear carcasses (and living cats dogs bears).

I wish for a blue balloon.

[KittyTac]

It is a killer blue balloon! It develops a mouth and bites your head off.

I wish for a sandwich.

[Gigabytebob]

Granted. you take a look at the sandwich to see if your wish was corrupted yet and to your horror you see horrible disgusting cockroaches crawl out of a human mouth on the ham of your sandwich along with a cold dead eye looking at you

I wish for adamantium armor

[KittyTac]

Granted, but you're then teleported to an arena with 50 goblins.

I wish to become famous on Bay12.

[Mathel]

Granted. You have the same level of fame as grisha5.

I wish for an armor, that is guaranteed to stop launched projectiles and is good at protecting from impact as well.