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[pikachu17]

I am now a full-on pyromaniac, and I know where you live.

I wish I had a Ring of invisibility.

[Stirk]

Granted. Your phone now turns invisible whenever someone calls it. This is less than practical.

I wish for world peace.

[KittyTac]

The genie misheard and gave you world PEAS. That is, planet-sized peas. Then they collide with Earth and everyone dies.

I wish for an indestructible kitten.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, but it decides to eat you.

I wish for my enemies to surrender.

[Maximum Spin]

Your enemies surrender to an even bigger enemy newly emerged from the void, and all work together to destroy you.

I wish for molten gold to rain on my enemies.

[VolcanoQueen]

Granted, molten gold rains on your enemies. And also on you, burning you and encasing you in gold when it cools.

I wish I could make any Halloween costume I wanted.

[Maximum Spin]

worth it
Okay, you could, but you get confused about what day Halloween is and show up in costume a day late and everyone laughs at you.

I wish molten gold would rain down on my friends, but harmlessly.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. Harmless or not, the molten gold still ruins their clothes. To preserve their wardrobe, their decide to desert you.

I wish to meet my hero.

[Maximum Spin]

You get a submarine sandwich. In some parts of the United States your wish was granted! It's also a very good sandwich, so, all-in-all, you made out better than you might have in this thread.

I wish that people who would call it a "hoagie" would all be humanely euthanised.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Wish granted however since you just called it by that awful name you also quietly die in your sleep.

I wish that the person I love and fantasize about, who is not a celebrity, or terrible looking or as far as I know dead or diseased would meet me and offer me a loving kiss me tomorrow.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted- turns out they're secretly an alien and just laid eggs in you, chestbuster-style.

I wish for joyous tidings to all.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted rocks with the words ''joyus tidings' fall on each of us causing minor injuries.

I wish for my chestburster baby alien creature to be born from me in a non-lethal manner.

[Greatness942]

Granted! While you do indeed live, you have to vomit it up, which does rupture an organ. You'll live, but now you're in the hospital for Appendicitis Surgery.

I wish the Appendix had a use.

[Ehndras]

You realize that scientists have discovered the appendix acts as a safe house for good bacteria, which can be used to effectively reboot the gut following a bout of dysentery or cholera. Not only this, but it serves as a lymphoid/endocrine booster. (years ago, actually)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Endocrine cells appear in the appendix of the human fetus at around the 11th week of development. These endocrine cells of the fetal appendix have been shown to produce various biogenic amines and peptide hormones, compounds that assist with various biological control (homeostatic) mechanisms. There had been little prior evidence of this or any other role of the appendix in animal research, because the appendix does not exist in domestic mammals.

"Among adult humans, the appendix is now thought to be involved primarily in immune functions. Lymphoid tissue begins to accumulate in the appendix shortly after birth and reaches a peak between the second and third decades of life, decreasing rapidly thereafter and practically disappearing after the age of 60. During the early years of development, however, the appendix has been shown to function as a lymphoid organ, assisting with the maturation of B lymphocytes (one variety of white blood cell) and in the production of the class of antibodies known as immunoglobulin A (IgA) antibodies. Researchers have also shown that the appendix is involved in the production of molecules that help to direct the movement of lymphocytes to various other locations in the body.

"In this context, the function of the appendix appears to be to expose white blood cells to the wide variety of antigens, or foreign substances, present in the gastrointestinal tract. Thus, the appendix probably helps to suppress potentially destructive humoral (blood- and lymph-borne) antibody responses while promoting local immunity. The appendix--like the tiny structures called Peyer's patches in other areas of the gastrointestinal tract--takes up antigens from the contents of the intestines and reacts to these contents. This local immune system plays a vital role in the physiological immune response and in the control of food, drug, microbial or viral antigens. The connection between these local immune reactions and inflammatory bowel diseases, as well as autoimmune reactions in which the individual's own tissues are attacked by the immune system, is currently under investigation.

Unfortunately, your appendix ruptures from the force of your cosmic facepalm.

I wish Human beings would get on with it and colonize other worlds already.

[Greatness942]

Granted! It turns into Mass Effect. Meaning, yes, it isn't all bad, but thousands, if not millions, of us die to Geth, Reapers, and the like. Worth it, but so not worth it.

I wish I had more YouTube money than TotalBiscuit (who has more YouTube money then God)