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[dustywayfarer]

Granted. You have the money. Prosnorkulus is your surgeon. You die. It was inevitable.

I wish for a Moscow vacation.

[Maximum Spin]

You get a "Moscow vacation", or, to use the official term, "assignment to Siberia". You die in the gulag.

I wish the Earth would suddenly ignite fusion and become a star.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, even though that makes zero sense. It is now the tiniest and coldest star in the universe, so much so that we dont even notice for 30 thousand years.

I wish for delicious bacon for breakfast

[KittyTac]

The genie misheard and gave you a delicious BEACON. Unfortunately, beacons are inedible, and so its deliciousness won't matter.

I wish for a machine that creates kittens.

[Maximum Spin]

You get a cat. It totally counts.

I wish for the dead to be resurrected on Jupiter.

[KittyTac]

They all get crushed by the pressure. Oh well.

I wish for a million kittens, stored in hyperspace so my house doesn't explode.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. You have a million dead kittens stored in hyperspace. What, you thought hyperspace would be a safe storage for kittens?


I wish I had bought several tanks of helium several years ago, so that I would get rich by selling them in 2020.

[KittyTac]

You now have some TOY military tanks filled with helium. Minuscule amounts of helium.

I wish for a million kittens, with a special building to hold them, placed two-dimensionally to avoid being crushed.

[Madman198237]

You get a BILLION kittens, stored two-dimensionally in a four-dimensional word. When the universe attempts to calculate the effects of such storage, it gets the dreaded

ERR: DIV/ZERO

And crashes.


You monster.


I wish for hyperspace!

[pikachu17]

You come out in the middle of an Asteroid, lose your last ship, and game over. Put quarter in to continue.


I wish I had a Dungeons and Dragons group.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but it is horrible, the DM railroads everyone into a barn and your character is the only one who survives, but you lost all your stuff to a black pudding.

I wish pikachu17 would become a pikachu.(if he/she isn't already.)

[Maximum Spin]

Pikachu17 is clearly seventeen pikachus. Thanks to your wish, the seventeen pikachus are gruesomely glommed together into a single monstrous pikachu that then destroys your house and eats you in revenge.

I wish puppyguard would be (revived and) split into a puppy and a guard.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but I'm missing an arm(the pikachu ate it.). I defend you from the monstrous pikachu, but your house is destroyed.

I wish for super powers related to construction.

[Maximum Spin]

You gain the superpower of being made out of mortar. A team of masons suddenly appears and dismembers you to build a brick wall to stop the incoming pikachu monster. It doesn't even work.

I wish Pikachu17 would spontaneously fall apart into seventeen pikachus again.

[Madman198237]

Granted. Quantum shenanigans happen, however, and he's now 17 GIANT pikachus. What a terrible plan.

I wish for the ability to perform a nice Base Delta Zero.