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[pikachu17]

It's granted. Butter is now the official emblem of everything that has to do with humans.
Butter-hating aliens appear and kill all humans.

I wish YouTube videos could be played offline.

[TalonisWolf]

I wish for more creativity on this thread- bwahaha!

[pikachu17]

Suddenly everyone on this thread is a fine-art collector.

I wish I had a Picasso painting, and a basket of ursine.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You have an original picasso painting, and a basket containing a teething bear cub. The bear cub eats the painting and you have done a horrible thing to art history by leaving them in the same room.

I wish my sleep cycle wasnt all fucked up

[Puppyguard]

Granted, you sleep like a normal person, but only outside.

I wish to become incredibly creative at creating wishes.

[Dunamisdeos]

All of your natural creativity is put into wish granting. Unfortunately you are unable to innovate or solve problems in any other way, and immediately drown in the rain turkey-style.

I wish for a red squiggly pen.

[Stirk]

Granted. Your squiggly pen organizes the other squiggly pens in a communist revolution, ending with all squiggly pens being exiled to China.

I wish that capitalism and communism would become giant robots which would then get in a fist fight.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but before they can finish socialism comes in a giant nuclear rocket and kills everyone.

I wish to be able to stop time without being affected myself, and can unstop it at will.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, however, you can only do this in a 15ft ''bubble'' around yourself, people outside the bubble soon realize this and either flee from you or constantly harass you in creative ways attempting to either gain your power or control you.

I wish that unicorns were real and they gave everyone they met nightmares and free drugs.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but they also shoot fire. Your charred corpse is the first one to be found after they emerged from their hell portal.

I wish to be able to think of a better wish.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. You now know the best possible wish in this or any universe. Unfortunately, you wasted your wishing chance on that one instead.

I wish for cherries.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, you morph into cherries.

I wish to know what it is like to be the sun.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. The terrible revelation drives you mad! You spend the rest of your days in an asylum believing you are the sun, until eventually you collapse into a white dwarf.

I wish that white, brown, and red dwarf stars were in fact giant colourful dwarves.

[Dunamisdeos]

!!! White Dwarf guzzles the solar system !!!

I wish that dwarves were nicer.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted- they now kill everything around them apologetically:

*cuts off limb* Sorry 'bout that, that looked like it hurt. Tell you wat, you survive this ya'll have a drink on me."

I wish for a Llama.