Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. You can now fall asleep. You don't, though. Ever again. But scientists and medical experts all agree that you could.

I wish I could stay awake.

(Incidentally, your corruption of my wish doesn't sound all that bad. Sure, my memories of my life would be nice to have, but it's true that I wouldn't need them as a butterfly, and after all, I'm sure I could fly on my love. )

[Pearofclubs]

( I mean, they can't all be horrible, right? I'm sure that you'll be a merry butterfly on an earnest wind. )
Granted! You can now stay awake, because you have a slight headache that never goes away and is made worse with darkness for some reason. Blinking becomes pretty intolerable after a while. And sleeping is impossible.

Yes, even with your eyes open.

I wish to be motivated to do something. You can even pick what!

[Maximum Spin]

You suddenly feel extremely motivated to stare motionless at a computer screen while dumbly scrolling through page after page of contentless colour and light. This sense of motivation never goes away.
I wish for magic Aspirin to cure this magic headache.

[Mathel]

Granted. It has a magical side-effect of making your earlobes turn into butterfly wings of the same mass.

I wish to be immune to mechanical damage.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. A mechanic wanders by and throws a wrench at you, to no effect. You are still vulnerable to damage from all non-mechanic sources, however.

I wish to be immune to physical damage.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, but at the cost of making you extremely vulnerable to psychological damage. You don't last a day before being put in a padded cell.

I wish I were immune to all harm, and only harm.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. A passing Buddhist convinces you that life is suffering, and you instantly die.

I wish I had a war mime.

[pikachu17]

You do, but the war mime betrays your secrets to the enemy through pantomime!

I wish that my foam sword had a perfectly safe handle

[Maximum Spin]

Your foam sword has a perfectly safe handle, but the blade is now made of antimatter.

I wish to have my war mime court-martialed and hanged for treason.

[pikachu17]

(What is with you people and making my sword more awesome? Now my sword explodes!)

[Maximum Spin]

(What is with you people and making my sword more awesome? Now my sword explodes!

You know you're going to be holding it when it explodes, right? Also, let me close that for you.)

[pikachu17]

(Hey, dying is worth being this cool)

[Dunamisdeos]

(What is with you people and making my sword more awesome? Now my sword explodes!

You know you're going to be holding it when it explodes, right? Also, let me close that for you.)

Wouldn't it just instantly asplode, because it came into contact with the handle? You have no sword and also exploded.

Your War Mime wins it's legal battle in court but is hanged for "being to creepy, for reals". This injustice sparks the MIME UPRISING, and now you are enslaved to your mime masters in the face paint mines.

I wish for a potato.

[pikachu17]

The potato drops onto you head from three miles up. It hurts.

I wish that my foam sword was no longer made of antimatter or any such dangerous material, and that I was resurrected from death from antimatter.

[Maximum Spin]

In attempting to locate a material which is not potentially dangerous, the universe segfaults, and you get a foam sword made of quantum foam. Some asshole also intentionally misparses "resurrected from death from antimatter" and resurrects you into a body made out of antimatter.

I wish for many potatoes to fall on other people.