Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Maximum Spin]

I wish to escape the time loop.

Granted. You escape it while travelling backward, so now you're experiencing time in reverse. On the bright side, according to some physics models, you're now technically antimatter. (That side's going to get real bright when you crash into something.)

I wish to be safely outside the blast radius.

[Stirk]

Granted. You are miles and miles away from the blast radius. Vertical miles, meaning you are well outside Earth's atmosphere without any sort of suit or ship.

I wish to have a spaceship.

[Pearofclubs]

Granted. It comes in a massive Amazon.com box, "some" assembly required, batteries not included, and while the assembly is technically possible with only the Allen wrench that it came with, it's going to take forever, and be an especially miserable process.

I wish I had a watermelon.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you get a fistful of watermelon seeds.
The sooner you plant them the sooner you can enjoy them.


I wish for an earth shattering kaboom. The Earth obstructs my view of of Venus.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted, you get a kaboom that is indeed perfectly capable of shattering the Earth. It happens in the middle of Venus. (On the bright side, you now have a nice view of Venus in every direction, or at least parts of one.)

I wish for nothing to happen.

[FallacyofUrist]

Granted, nothing happens. Forever. Nothing interesting ever happens ever again.

I wish that all dice rolled sixes forever.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. All dice are now constantly rolling sixes of their own volition, preventing anyone from using them for any purpose. Also, a passing self-rolling die just bounced off your head.

I wish that walls could talk.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, your wish have effectively crashed the entire dice-based gambling industry.
People are looking for a scapegoat, and they have found you.

Granted, you quickly find out that the now talking walls don't like you very much.


I wish I wasn't ninja'd and that FallacyofUrist's wish was granted by me instead.

[Stirk]

Granted. Maximum Spin is erased from the timeline.

I wish Maximum Spin would be unerased.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. Everywhere I was not, now I am. Everything is me. Even you are me. There is only me.

I wish to create a new universe of not-me things because this state of infinite existence is kind of samey.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, however, some of those things strongly resemble you and have ruined your reputation throughout the multiverse.

I wish that I was the god of apples.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you are now god of all apples.
No one believes in you however.



I wish all the previously mentioned talking walls, would rebel against humanity.

[Imic]

Granted. You die in the chaos.
I wish that I was the god of castles.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, however I the god of apples also cover your castles in contaminated Apple juice and fermented applesauce, thus driving away much of your worship.

[Pearofclubs]

Your hesitation to wish has cost you dearly.
All apples on Earth spontaneously rot off of their trees, killing the seeds and, eventually, the last apple tree dies.

The first church of apples disbands and you-and the fruit you are God of- fade into legend. Eventually you rekindle some tiny recognition as marvel releases a comic in which their version of you is a D list villain to Thor, but the concept of apples is so fantastical and unrealistic that it kills the character. It's too unbelievable.
With no believers, you fall comatose, until such time as apples happen to evolve again, and inspire more worship.
Someday...

I wish for a can of clown repellent.