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[Imic]

Granted. You die of exhaustion when you take your new body out for a spin.
I wish that this forum had more forumites.

[Mathel]

Granted. It has so many forumites, that a the server can not handle all the connections.

I wish to have a pebble with a Continuous Flame spell on it.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You quickly burn your hand, drop it, and start a forest fire that burns down everyones houses. This happens every other year or so until you find that pebble again.

I wish i had 5 million dollars.

[Paxiecrunchle]

 Granted,  you explode outwards as 500 million pennies manifest inside your thorax.(equivalent to 5 million dollars.) the scene of your death becomes a vicious battle ground as your poor neighborsrs fight atop your corpse for control over your brief coppery wealth.

I wish I was best friends with a powerful dragon that only eats fruit.

[Mathel]

Granted. Unfortunately while this dragon only eats fruit, he is very jealous. In order to keep you to himself, he kills anyone else you associate with.

I wish to own a quartz pebble, the size of and average tangerine, located at this point on top of my desk in this house, not intersecting any other solid objects, on which the spell Continual Flame from DnD 3.5e has been cast and has not been dispelled.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted but it lures in burglars like moths to a heatless flame, who promptly steal it and sell it on Craigslist.

I wish that Puppyguard was an actual puppy.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, I maul you to death.

I wish Sir Elventide was a turkey.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. However, before you killed and ate me for thanksgiving, I ingested a powerful and heat resistant poison. You spent the next few hours literally crapping out your intestines.

I wish to assimilate everyone with my mind.

[GigaGiant]

Granted. Unfortunately, your mind can't handle all these people and your head explodes.

I wish the next poster was happy.

[Sir Elventide]

 

Granted. However, I'm happy.... to see you die by my hand!

I wished that my wish was incorruptable

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but this breaks the thread causing you to collapse into a gravitational singularity devouring the earth.

I wish to become a lich.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but some level 20 adventurers in your local area hear about it.

I wish my bike hadn't been stolen.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, instead your eyes are stolen.

I wish that the level 20 adventurers get their levels stolen by a swarm of vampires.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, instead your eyes are stolen.

I wish that the level 20 adventurers get their levels stolen by a swarm of vampires.

Granted. The vampires decide they can use the levels they stole to take a nearby lich down a peg

I wish to be a skilled cyclist despite my lack of eyes. This means I won't fall prey to anything predictable, like blindness induced collisions.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, you are a skilled cyclist, but only on electric generators.

I wish to be able to defeat the vampires easily.