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[NEANDERTHAL]

The economy is fine, but the resultant rift in logic disproves literally every theorem and pnysical law, thus destroy the universe.

I wish for a romantic life partner.

[TD1]

Granted. She is very romantic. And beautiful. And sincere. And...why does she have a knife?

I wish that I were good at something.

[Stirk]

Granted. You are good at being mediocre. You have the power to do anything, so long as it is not too hard.

I wish to have a gun capable of staking vampires hiding behind an engine block.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted but this special gun cannot stake vampires at point blank range and not in cover. On the plus side, Dracula is now sated tonight.

I wish that these haters don't corrupt my wishes.

[bloop_bleep]

Granted. These constructive, supportive human beings will corrupt your wishes instead.

I wish for ETERNAL LIFE MWAHAHA

[Puppyguard]

Granted, you become a stone statue, rendering you immortal.

I wish I was a flying carpet and immune to death and pain.

[AbstractTraitorHero]

Granted. Someone eventually forces you into slavery and you are nailed to a floor unable to do anything.

I wish for A yandere who wont murder me and A luxury island with internet access So I can rp all day.

[heydude6]

Granted. Unfortunately, your yandere murders everyone you interact with on the internet out of jealousy and soon you run out of people to rp with. Also, all the GMs are dead.

I wish AbstractTraitorHero didn't have his luxury island anymore.

[bloop_bleep]

Granted. He gets a bigger, nicer luxury island instead.

I wish to become a bronze colossus.

[Khan Boyzitbig]

Granted but an adventurer arrives carrying fluffy wamblers and starts flinging them at you.

I wish for a swarm of butterflies.

[wierd]

Granted. The butterflies are a gorgeous deep iridescent blue hybrid of the african swallowtail butterfly. What they have been hybridized WITH, however, is west nile mosquito.  In ever increasing numbers, they flock to your vicinity, hungering for your delicious human blood.  There are lots of them. LOTS AND LOTS of them.

I wish for real psychic powers. (this should be good..)

[Mathel]

Granted you gain the powers of telepathy and electrokinesis.
Telepathy
You are forced to listen in on thoughts of people within 5m to 10m from you (depends on the person) and can Mind Read a specific person or Mind Talk to a specific person within up to 10 km (Mental resistance can reduce Mind Read range to 5km.)
Mind Talk does not allow the target to respond, you have to Mind Read them to get their answer.

Electrokinesis
You can cause any 2 points within 10m of you to have a difference in electric potential (causing electric tension) of up to 1000V.

Weaknesses
In order to allow the Mind Read, your Mental resistance had to be lowered drastically. You can communicate with any other telepath (and they with you), including Mind Read, whether the target wants to or not on the entire Earth. If someone near you is thinking something annoying, you are forced to listen. Also if you are near many people, you get headaches from the chatter.

While you can cause Electric Tension, you are also weak to electromagnetic induction. So weak in fact, that you get terrible headaches and can die from prolonged exposure to the magnetic field generated by regular power grid. Exposure means being less than 10m from a 220V/50Hz live cable. Also, microwaves, used by phones are even worse for you, being able to cook your new psychic brain within 20s.



I wish to live forever as 20year old man with perfect immunity and perfect regeneration.

[bloop_bleep]

Granted but an adventurer arrives carrying fluffy wamblers and starts flinging them at you.

I wish for a swarm of butterflies.

I never quite understood the bronze colossus and fluffy wamblers reference. I assume it was from some famous community game before my time but I'm not sure...

[pikachu17]

Someone managed to once kill a bronze colossus by throwing a fluffy warbler at its head and decapitating the bronze colossus.

[Mathel]

That was 2 months before pulping damage, so beheading or removal of torso was the only way to kill them.