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[Sir Elventide]

The canned laughter is so annoying that you immediately throw it away

I wish for a sugar momma.

[Stirk]

Granted. You get this person:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish to become the greatest person ever!

[Sir Elventide]

Everyone becomes jealous of you and begin plotting your demise.

I wish to become the best supervillain of all time!

[Paxiecrunchle]

 Granted, however you find the occupation be less and less of a dream job has it continuously clash with the United States Army, and the militaries of Russia China, and the UN security forces , At one point you manage to take over half the world before it all comes crumbling down around you  and you spend the rest of your life under guard.

 I wish that a well written somewhat flattering, but not entirely unrealistic story was written about me and that became a bestseller for long enough for me to live comfortably for a few years.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, but after those few years you're abducted by a obsessed fan and locked up in their basement.

I wish unicorns  who don't gore or trample people were real and didn't come with cannibalistic elves.

[Mathel]

Granted. They come with cannibalistic humans instead. (Though I do not know, why you worry about elves that eat each other. Elves that eat humans would be worse.)

I wish dragons to be real. Combined with no dragon causing harm to me.

[heydude6]

Granted. Though they never attack you directly, dragon's end up causing massive infrastructure damage throughout the years, delaying the technological advancement of mankind by centuries.

I wish more people would simply wish for bad ideas that wouldn't even need corrupting.

[Madman198237]

Granted. Years later the wishes in this thread start coming true, and by that time most of them are horrible bad ideas and the world suffers terrible damages because of them.


I wish for a week of silence in this thread.

(MUAHAHAHAHA! Now what are you going to do about it?)

[Mathel]

Granted. Text is silent.   

I wish that Madman198237 is silenced for a week.

[Madman198237]

Granted. I am silenced in the fifth dimension, which may not exist. Since sound waves and computers work only in four dimensions, it doesn't affect anything.


I wish for a nice response to a wish.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, you are given a 'nice' response involving spikes.

I wish for everyone ever to get a cookie. Including people who haven't been born yet.

[Madman198237]

Granted. You get approximately 8 billion cookies, and upon counting them fall into deep depression because the world must be about to end, else there should be many more cookies. Because of your depression, you fail to prevent the world's ending, and the world is completely destroyed and the human race goes extinct.

And it's all your fault.

I wish for a pleasant future, with no sarcasm or creative misinterpretation involved.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, I get a pleasant future.
You don't.

I wish for no wishes!

[Ultimuh]

Granted. No one will ever grant you wishes ever again. (We better remember that, unless someone negates this. Puppyguard however can't negate it.)



I wish for a crate full of live Tribbles.

[Xvareon]

Granted. No one will ever grant you wishes ever again. (We better remember that, unless someone negates this. Puppyguard however can't negate it.)



I wish for a crate full of live Tribbles.

Granted. Your cats eat the Tribbles, matching the Tribbles' prodigious reproduction rate with their own, until your house is nothing but a giant stockpile of furniture menacing with spikes of gnawed tribble bone with overfat felines reclining on every surface.

I wish for all my boxes to be made of organic mushroom-based "cardboard".