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[Sir Elventide]

Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies! Basically, you and your party play so well that the GM has enough of it and you all die.

I wish to learn how to role play well.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are now forced to play the role of Macbeth. In real life.

I wish that someone of my family comes up with a campaign, so I don't have to be the GM all the time.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. However, your family member is such a harsh GM that you and your fellow adventurers might as well be playing the Call of Cthulhu version of God of War. Feel the suffering as your characters literally struggle to survive the onslaught of a sadistic god!

I wish to come up with a totally awesome roleplaying game

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, but it becomes rapidly forgotten as asinine attempts to copy it outgrow and overshadow it.

I wish an island existed in our world, where human beings looked like the most unrealistic of anime characters.

[Puppyguard]

Granted... but they're all horrifying demonic murderers and seek to kill the one who made them.

I wish I was a better GM.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are now a better Grand Marshall. (From wesnoth) You have a 10x4 blade sword, a 8x3 pierce crossbow and a reasonably good armor. All permanently attached to your body. And any attack from your friend, who is  not a Grand Marshall or an Arch Mage standing up to 1 km away from you has it's damage multiplied by 5/4.

I wish to legaly and physicaly own a version of that armor that Jaime in Game of Thrones wore. It shall be sized for me though.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but you can never take it off. Ever. Not even to use the bathroom.

I wish for any character I want to become real and become my best friend.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, but they all die after a two week period.

I wish the sky became lavender in color for 21 consecutive days.

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted. The entire upper atmosphere of earth is replaced with a solid mass of packed lavender flowers. You look up and see nothing but lavender before the sky falls down upon you. Lavender for days.

I wish for a tasty snack.

[Stirk]

Granted. You become a sandwich, as many Dads had predicted.

I wish that more people would accept that sandwiches can be snacks.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted, at the cost of other snacks not being considered as foods. People get sick of sandwiches and decide to boycott them.

I wish to move out of my mother's basement.

[Derpy Dev]

Granted, you and all of your belongings get teleported into the basement of the first forum user you think of. Have fun in their basement.

I wish I knew the Netflix password of every politician in the USA.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but you can only log into one at a time, making the information less useful.

I wish for badmin powers in every game I play.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. You gain B.A.D.M.I.N.(Bad Annoying Mega Idiotic Noobsyndrome) powers in every game you play, causing you to be kicked from every multiplayer server you play.

I wish for a perfectly average helicopter with no problems with the helicopter nor will it be involved in my death.

[Derpy Dev]

Granted. You get your helicopter, and it is perfectly average and similar to every other helicopter except for one minor detail: on each of the helicopter's blades, a single sentence is written.
"Say hi to Puppytreat for me when it crashes."

I wish I had the ability to summon canned laughter.