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[Dorsidwarf]

Granted. You gained the Wand of Lubrication. It magically shoots streams of oil.

I wish a paper, with the knowledge about making cold fusion written on it, to suddenly appear 0,5 cm above the top of my computer screen.

Granted, but the knowledge tells you that you will need many elements you're certain don't actually exist to do it.

I wish that wish-granting entities were nicer.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, The 'wish-granting entities' become so nice they stop granting wishes because they know it can cause death and destruction.

I wish for a cardboard box to become famous.

[wierd]

Your wish is granted, but he is a total douchebag, and suffers an unfortunate airport screening accident.

I wish I did not feel so bad about corrupting so many wishes.

[Nirur Torir]

Granted. The Corrupt Overgenie notices you and promotes you to actual corrupt genie. As you are forced to grant wishes, humanity grows extinct within a month, but you remain shackled to Earth. You can grant wishes, but not create anything resembling having intelligence.

I wish I had 10x my current art skills.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. But 10x nothing is still nothing.


I wish Nirur Torir got some treatment for that burn.

[Derpy Dev]

Is Ultimuh a fire imp? 'cause he is on fire!

Ahem. Granted, the treatment for roasts such as that is to have one's mind erased, so they do not remember the burn.

I wish my evil tundra fortress would stop dying.

[wierd]

Granted. The well of unlife has been a huge hit at the local tavern, but repeat patronage has been a problem: there is now a serious reduction in fortress productivity, due to a lack of drinking in general. However, the issue with the evil weather in your area seems to have lost its bite.

I really wish you would DIG DEEPER.

[Nirur Torir]

Granted. I win, then dig even deeper, and become Armok.

I wish I had 10x my current art skills-

Deja vu? Odd.

[MrLurkety]

Granted. 10*0  is still 0. (No hard feelings?)


I wish for an untwistible wish.

[Mathel]

Granted. It was this wish.

I wish that Nirur Torir's aritistic skill had this java definition applied to it once.

Nirur_Torir.skill.art=(abs(Nirur_Torir.skill.art)+5)*10

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. Unfortunately, the computer no longer uses Java an such artwork becomes meaningless.

Tofu

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but it's not true tofu, In fact it's made out human flesh.

I wish for a duck that is capable of speech.

[Sir Elventide]

AFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLACAFLAC. Do you regret your wish now?

 I wish for excitement.

[Mathel]

Granted. All the valence electrons in your right leg get excited at once. Then they fall back into place in their atoms (after molecular bonds have been destroyed), emmiting extremly intense burst of light and light.
Outside result: Your right leg starts falling apart, then it explodes.

I wish to have warhorns. Outside my body and not stuck in any other items, people or animals.

[CABL]

Granted, but they're very big and heavy, so you fall on the ground without the ability to stand up, doomed to slowly crawl. Also, I made the warhorns unremovable.

I wish for ALIEN BEANS!