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[Mathel]

Granted. Angry Aragorn then finds you and kills you for it.

I wish to have an immovable rod.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. It is permanently lodged inside your stomach. (And by that, I mean it is activated.)

I wish for a friendly Mimic whom is able to understand and speak Common.
And by friendly, I mean not hostile towards anyone.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. The mimic speaks the common language of the Forgotten Realms, and not your language.

I wish to be a nuclear power

[crazyabe]

Granted, You are a Nuclear powered plant.

I Wish I Could force anyone to hear whatever songs I wanted to at any point, playing in their head.

[Mathel]

Granted. It also makes you hear a random song you do not want to hear.

I wish to be petrol-repelling.

[Madman198237]

Granted.
It works at long distances, and you cannot use ANY forms of modern transport because of it. Also, you have to stay away from gas stations.

I wish for a portal to Middle-earth.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. The portal exists on Pluto.

I wish for a +1 weapon of awesomeness.

[AzyWng]

The +1 weapon is a bomb, and the +1 actually refers to how quickly the fuse burns down. You try to use it one day and die in an explosion of awesomeness after you misjudge the timer.

I wish bombs would no longer explode. This includes landmines, dynamite, nuclear weapons, etc.

[wierd]

Your wish is granted. As a consequence, volcanoes no longer erupt, hot air balloons no longer fly, bombardier beetles (along with all other forms of life as we know it) have gone extinct, peroxide no longer bleaches hair, or cleanses wounds, and a bevy of other unintended consequences resulting from mucking with basic energy release/storage in both chemical and physical forms. Also, all stars in the universe suddenly stop undergoing fusion, and turn into either black holes, or lumps of cold matter. (Note, an explosion is just a violent release of stored energy. By wishing that there are no more explosions, a valid interpretation of your wish, energy can no longer be released in a quick fashion. This means combustion is no longer possible, and so basically all forms of life die suddenly and horribly. Also, thermal expansion, which is what drives steam explosions, is also no longer a thing which is why volcanism stops, hot air balloons no longer fly, etc. Another consequence of denying rapid energy release is that fusion no longer provides the energy needed to power stars.)

I wish for useful immortality.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, the immortality is useful in the realm of imaginations and wonder. Not so much in this reality however.

I wish for everything to react violently with everything, all at once, starting.. NOW!

[hops]

Granted. Everyone is now a radical antifascist. The world is destroyed for being fascist with its global warming.

I wish global warming wasn't real.

[overseer05-15]

Granted. Everyone is now a radical antifascist. The world is destroyed for being fascist with its global warming.

I wish global warming wasn't real.

Granted. Everything freezes into a new ice age.

I wish for a space lazer.

[Mathel]

Granted. It is pointed at Earth and permanently turned on.

I wish to not be ninjad with a shorter version of what I am writing next time.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. You are now being Ninja'd by people who post long, eloquent and extravagant posts, which puts your own to shame.

I wish for all man-made explosive devices in the world, to go off all at the same time. And I mean explode exactly where they are currently located.
(Yes, I am well aware of the consequences of this wish.)

[Derpy Dev]

In the moments before you make your post, a time traveling ninja kills you to prevent the apocalypse you were about to cause. You were never able to make your wish.

I wish I could un-see spoilers.