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[Lenglon]

Granted, but since your "wish" was a pile of conditionals with no actual wish... you get a broken air conditioner thrown through your car windshield.

I wish for a good pair of boots.

[Twinwolf]

Granted, you get a good pair of boots, but they're so damn good that you never take them off and your feet start to stink. Badly enough it's noticeable without specifically smelling your boots.

I wish that I got perfect grades in school

[CABL]

Granted. Every classmate is jealous of your perfect grades and they start to bully you and steal your perfect homework every night.

I wish to be grossly incandescent...

[Mathel]

Granted. You glow so brightly, that everyone around you has to wear sunglasses, or be blinded. Beware of mirrors.

I wish to be able to connect to internet with my mind. I would be immune to all malware, because my mind is a unique OS.

[CABL]

Granted. The Internet speed is slower than your average, outdated modem. Also, it disconnects every 2 hours.

I wish for Indrick Boreale to become the next president of USA.

[Sl4cker]

Granted. The combination of his speech impediment and inability to run a country not inhabited by seven feet tall super soldiers irreparably crumbles the USA as well as several other countries, if not the world.

I wish I would burn out and die with PASSION

[DolosusDoleus]

Granted. You burn to death in a pit of Perpetually Angry Slimy Snakes In Ornerous Narcissism.

I wish for demon fire juice, whatever that means.

[Mathel]

Granted. Demon fire juice is a juice, which tastes like lemon juice, but whoever drinks it bursts into fiendfyre exactly 5 hours after first tasting it.

I wish to be immune to damage from extremes of temperature and to not ever feel hot or cold.

[Strider03]

Granted. You are turned into a photon, and cannot feel or be damaged by extremes of temperature.

I wish for my reaction speed to increase slightly.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted. You are now a frog, and your increased reaction speed allows you to catch insects with your tongue.

I wish that I was a baseball bat.

[CABL]

Granted. You're now a property of a violent street thug. You get shattered after the thug gets too much enjoyment from beating the crap out of an innocent teenager.

I wish to become an independent movie maker.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Welcome to YouTube!

I wish that plants were purple instead of green.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted. A toxic poison leaches into the dirt all over the world, turning plants everyone an ugly shade of purple and making their products inedible and unusable.

I wish that I could transform into a cat. But a hyperintelligent one.

[Strider03]

Granted. You become a hyperintelligent cat, but cannot talk. You become increasingly lonely, depressed, and disillusioned, and welcome death when it arrives.

I wish that the temperature at my location were a few degrees cooler.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted. It's a few degrees Celsius cooler.

I wish for laser eyes.