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[Ultimuh]

Granted. Although as soon as it is fully healed, it promptly rides straight into a huge pile of salt.

I wish for some fresh Escargot.

[Mardent23]

Granted. Sadly, the chef is less than competent, and attempted to feed you canned slug (a house special), resulting in your death through botulism.
I wish for a plate of chicken.

[Gentlefish]

You get a delicious plate of breaded, medium-rare chicken.

I wish I didn't need to eat anything other than cotton candy to survive.

[crazyabe]

Granted, However your body still requires Vitamins and minerals, Thus you have to Take large amounts of vitamin injections since your mouth can only accept Cotton candy. oh, and did I mention how you now have Diabetes?


I Wish I could Eat Literally anything.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. But everything taste like shit to you, literally. And you never get used to it.

I wish Gordon Ramsay would have a word with the incompetent chef whom indirectly killed me.

[helmacon]

Granted. He congratulates him and gives him a promotion.

I wish I was actualy studying right now.

[Gentlefish]

You are studying. You study so much for forget the test. You keep studying. You forget to eat. You keep studying. You die. You keep studying.

I wish I had graduated college two years ago instead of now, for debt reasons.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, you "graduate" college two years early by being expelled.

I wish for time to reverse so the giant slug doesn't run into salt, and I wish it was immune to death by salt or drowning.

[Mathel]

Granted. You use a time machine to go back in time, save your slug and harden it's skin to make osmosis throguh it impossible. This, however creates a self-negating paradox, as you have no reason to do so as it never runs into salt. There never will be a reason for you to go back, so you do not do so, the slug dies, you go back...

In order to keep going, the universe deletes the offending entities, namely You and your slug.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you forgot to make your wish so the universe deletes you from existence as well.

I wish this wish to become a paradox, that the next wish granter must solve.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, its solved by ignoring it until nobody cares.

I wish for peace on earth

[CABL]

Granted. After 50 years of peace, aliens enslave humanity with ease, because humans stopped to fund the military and researching new weapon types.

I wish Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing got a GREAT sequel.

[Mathel]

Granted. Great just means big though, so the sequel's install file has 1.5TB (terabyte). When unpacked it has 10TB.

I wish to gain the ability to eat anything and transmute it to whatever my body needs. If I eat too much, excess mass is converted into temporary magical matter, which congeals on my skin as armor and is flexible, but not cuttable, and when needed transmuted into whatever I need. No energy is to be released in the form of heat or radiation and no other changes to my body are to be made.

[Detoxicated]

Granted,  but everything tastes like shit to you

I wish for a talking monkey

[NRDL]

Granted, monkey never stops talking. You die of sleep deprivation due to its constant chatter.

I wish I had a functioning healing factor that's completely stable and totally doesn't overcompensate and turn into super-cancer or something.