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[Shoruke]

Say, did you know that atomic explosions violate the Law of Conservation of Energy?
"No, why?"

* Shoruke nukes crazyabe

Wish granted. 

I wish for a satellite bombardment system that can target anywhere on Earth, which is under my control and nobody else's.

[Lenglon]

Granted, but it can't be aimed. the target location is randomly selected. it also has a severely limited rate of fire. oh, and the control signal, though expertly encrypted, is very traceable. so though it can't be easilly hacked, if you ever use it it will be known that it was you, and where you are... assuming you don't just blow yourself up when you fire.

does have some  nice damage potential though.

I wish I could see at least as well as a cat in the light too, not just in the dark!

[Shoruke]

Granted, you can now see just as well as this blind cat.

I wish for x-ray vision.

[crazyabe]

Granted, You have a pair of X-ray guns installed where your eyes were... only someone forgot to include a method of seeing in 'em.


I Wish I could see through all Clothing, including underwear.

[Shoruke]

Granted, your eyes now interpret neutrinos as light instead of photons. This is good because neutrinos don't interact with clothing so you can see straight through them, but neutrinos also don't interact with much else, including your eyes. So... you don't see a heck of a lot ever.

I wish my cat would stop yowling at night.

[Mathel]

Granted. Here are your cats vocal chords.

I wish for the person granting this wish to find a fish on the street.

[Lenglon]

Granted? erm, I just kinda go around it. doesn't really change or accomplish anything, and it's not like you're anywhere near me so...

I wish I could see as well as a normal cat, not a blind cat, not only able to see in the dark. I just wana see as well as a cat can!

[crazyabe]

Granted, the Majority of the world's color becomes unavailable to your eyes and your vision reduces to the point where you can see at 20 meters what a normal human can see at 200. But hay! you now have an extra 20 degrees to your day vision.


I wish Lenglon was hit by a Catastrophe.

[Shoruke]

Granted. Lenglon, plus the surrounding region, are hit by a tornado. So are you.
The crazyabe died after colliding with an obstacle.

I wish for Storm's powers, from the X-men.

[Pearofclubs]

Granted, although your powers are short range and once used you can't leave the affected area until it's over​.

I wish I had a big sunny field to lay in, ala Hobbes.

[Mardent23]

With no atmosphere protecting you, and bi-hourly solar flares, the field is indeed sunny.

On that note, I wish for world peace.

[Derpy Dev]

Granted, the entirety of the human race becomes too peaceful to ever want to hurt anything. Even animals and plants, which puts and end to the food industry. As everyone becomes an extreme vegan overnight and is repulsed by the consumption of plants, they starve to death. The end.

But I'm not too peaceful to wish for a giant ham sandwich as big as a pig.

[Lenglon]

Granted, you get a live wild razorback boar with a slice of bread on top of and below it. the boar is angry. The derpy is bleeding profusely. this is an image of Derpy Dev being gored by a wild boar in the year of corruptwishes.

I wish for a fully-automatic-drum-fed flare gun.

[Mathel]

Granted. This special gun requires special ammo though. The flares explode 0.05m in front of the barrel and come only in magenta color.
Also, they somehow do only a pressure explosion, very little heat.

I wish this thread to never again pause for such a long time.

[CABL]

Granted. This thread is now the most popular on Bay12 and posting is so fast that the server crashes and then explodes.

I wish to seize the memes of reproduction.