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[Shoruke]

Granted, you think of a really good pun and laugh so hard that you suffocate.

I wish to pass my Combinatorics test today.

[Mathel]

Granted. You pass the combinatorics tests to someone else. He fills it in, passes it back to you and you turn it in. Unfortunatly you failed on permutations. (Though I do not know how your test really went. I hope better then this) 


As for my real wish, I wish I owned a living charizard.   

[Shoruke]

Granted. You own a Charizard, but no Pokeballs, and so the wild Charizard promptly eats you and burns your house to the ground.

I do not know how your test really went. I hope better then this

Nope. I console myself that it didn't go much better for anyone else.



I wish for the power of telekinesis.

[Mathel]

Granted. You now have telekinetic ability. It obeys the law of action and reaction with the force source being your brain.

I wish to be fire immune.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, but you still feel the pain of being on fire.

I wish for a hamster.

[Shoruke]

Granted, you now have a hamster with rabies.

I wish for bacon.

[S34N1C]

Granted, but it's turkey bacon   

I wish for crispy, pork bacon that is perfectly cooked.

[Mathel]

Granted. You got a perfectly cooked crispy pork  bacon. It Also contains 5g of plutonium.

I wish that this page shows anyone getting ninja'd a picture of a ninja as well as telling them so.
(It already does the latter,)

[Lord_lemonpie]

Granted, yet it's always going to be a non-cool ninja.

I wish I had any sort of motivation to do something at all.

[crazyabe]

Granted, you have motivation to go to the toilet, Then it just all falls out of you. . .


I wish I had a better chance at gaining a girlfriend.

[Krashkube]

Granted but she crazy af

I wish to shut this site down

[crazyabe]

Granted, the Police Shut this site down for 24  hours while looking for a Drug Distribution ring, and mistakenly follow the clues back to you. Hope you like prison.


I wish for the day to be 29 and 3/8th of an hour long.

[Shoruke]

Granted. Suddenly putting the brakes on the Earth's rotational momentum like that causes pretty much everything on Earth to go flying sideways at ludicrous speed. Almost everyone who isn't in a padded room or an airplane is killed or grievously wounded, all of humanity's infrastructure is destroyed, and the few survivors are scattered and have no means of communication because the satellites are all out of sync.
Someone eventually finds what used to be your house and fashions a rock into a makeshift tombstone, and chisels out "what did you think was going to happen? RIP humanity" on it.

I wish for a kitty.

[AzyWng]

Granted. The kitty hates you and doesn't allow you to touch it in any fashion.

I wish I could keep a straight face even when saying something completely outlandish.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. You can no longer make any facial expressions, nor smile.
No one wants to be your friend anymore.

I wish I could speak all the languages at the right times.