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[Imic]

Granted. You can't tirn ut off, and yo ucan anly see things from their heat.
I wish I could go back to my home planet.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, your planet is a potato. Literally.

I wish for a truckload of potatoes. Hot potatoes.

[Mathel]

Granted. You got a truckload of !!potatoes!! (They are on fire), blocking your front door.

I wish I was invurnerable.

[consumptiveAbsolutist]

You walk out into the streets to test your powers, and get run over realising that invurnerable isn't an actual word, and your wish was worthless.

I wish I knew how to embark.

[Lenglon]

Granted, you are suddenly warped through time and space into the 1700's, in England, and while you're still attempting to get your bearings, you have a fateful encounter with a press gang.
They assisting you in embarking... their warship. No isn't an option.

I wish I had flame manipulation powers to go with my newfound heat vision.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. You accidentally burn your own eyebrows off while testing your newfound powers. Everyone laughs at you. You feel extremely embarrassed.

I wish for potato powered potatoes.

[AzyWng]

Granted. Every single potato that you obtain will now requires an additional potato to function. This includes potato-based food items (baked potatoes, fries/chips, chips/crisps, hash browns), even if the actual potatoes were obtained and prepared by someone else (a McDonald's cook, for instance). You wind up spending double for potatoes, making them much less common in your daily life. Especially considering you have no idea how to actually add a potato to another potato.

I wish people would stop making me think about food after I've already had a meal.

[Mathel]

Granted. You can no longer think about food, when you have already eaten a meal. Since you have eaten a meal in your past already, you can not think about food ever again.

I wish that the following effects and no other be permanently applied to all creatures (including humans) in the order they are written in:
Cancer (disease) becomes impossible to get and any existing cancer (disease) is instantly cured.
Talomers are no longer required in order to create new cells.
Regeneration setting is changed from "fix what is necessary" to "complete restoration".

[Ehndras]

Granted. Unfortunately, tampering with telomeres and altering cellular regeneration makes apoptosis impossible, thereby creating an even more lethal type of proto-cancerous mass that - without the necessary intervention of programmable cellular death - disrupts the organism's organ function, and eventually gives way to a decadent state of seizures, strokes, coma, and eventually death.

...Except, the tumors are incapable of biological death, so they continue to grow and consume both energy and mass long after the biological functions of the mind have all but ceased.

Good job, you created zombies. Happy now?

I wish I could cure chronic depression and existential dread.

[Tomasque]

Granted. No one attends the funeral.

I wish I was a dragon.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are now a red dragon of the same age as you were as human. Unfortunatly, humas still fear dragons and you were shot down by the army and killed.

I wish for the ability to magicaly conjure any pizza, which has the nutritional value that it should and this spell consumes less energy than is gotten by eating said pizza.

[Tomasque]

Granted, but you never said you got to control what "any" pizza would be created, nor the amount of energy you would expel. The first time you use the spell, it drains almost all of your energy and creates a giant super-powerful pizza barbarian that kills you.

I wish for my programming code to be finished.

[FallacyofUrist]

Granted. It's finished. You have no idea how the heck it works, though, and it's a bit of a CPU hog.

I wish.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. But you really should be specific what you wish for. Because you are now consumed by reality itself and no longer exist.

I wish for time to slow down so I can play games for longer per day.
Without any of the inconveniences that might bring.

[Hanslanda]

Granted. Time slows down for everyone not just you. Everyone hates you now especially people waiting in lobbies.

I wish for a tame dragon.