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[S34N1C]

Granted, you are very competent, but no one likes what you write.

I wish I has free, unlimited high speed internet that wouldn't slow dons after I has used a certain amount.

[Stirk]

Granted! It doesn't low mafia dons at all, which allows them to steal your internet to sell it to the rest of the world for a major profit, while you end up in cement shoes.

I wish spell check was competent. 

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, all your Spell checks pass, allowing you to win every DND and Forum game through sheer magical competence. This turns you into a pariah, and no one wants to play with you.

I wish for something funny. 

[OceanSoul]

Granted. Your stomach feels funny, and it turns out to be a lethal stomach bug.

I wish that the next person to post a wish didn't post a wish.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Now I will never get that cake I wanted. Jerk.

[DolosusDoleus]

Granted! Your request to not have a wish... Oh wait.

I wish for a sack full of gold.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but the sack is a man eating plant monster.

I wish I wasn't such a waste of space

[crazyabe]

Granted, now you are a waste of flesh, air, and time that exists slightly out of phase with space, meaning you don't take up any.


I Wish the wisher below had to use my wish in theirs.

[S34N1C]

Granted, though I suck at this kind of wish.

I wish that the next rusher wouldn't make a complicated wish, like the poster above me did.

[Tomasque]

Granted.

[overseer05-15]

Tomasque, you ass.

I wish I had motivation to do my homework.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. But the dog eats it.

I wish my cat didn't pee on my homework that one time

[crazyabe]

Granted, It has however gone and pissed on your homework every other time you weren't looking.


I wish the poster below had to include the word "Backwards" in their wish.

[S34N1C]

Granted.

I wish I could make time run backwards for short periods.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. at first it's funny, since you are unaffected by it, and able to watch people walk and drive backwards.
You even are able to have it at longer periods of time(to you) the more you use it.
But it starts to get scary when you have trouble deactivating it. And the more you do it, the more unstable it becomes.
One day you hesitate before activating it due to its recent unstableness, and you get trapped a timeline that is backwards.

I wish I was a maneating taco immune to all forms of pain and damage, virtually indestructible and able to psionicly fly.