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[NJW2000]

Granted. The life of a hydra in shit is long and carefree indeed.

I wish for biological immortality.

[Maegil]

Granted. Your lifeline just broke, you'll be tumbling for eternity inside your space suit.

I wish the Tobin Tax was approved.

[TalonisWolf]

Sure. By the time the politicians are through with it, there are so many ways to abuse, avoid, or go around it that it is the in joke for all economists.

I wish I had a normal Taco.

[Stirk]

Granted! But perhaps you should have asked for a normal taco instead. By capitalizing it, you turn it into a proper noun, giving you the completely normal asteroid 14917 Taco instead. Naturally, as it is completely normal, it keeps its speed and momentum turning you into a crater.

I wish the protestors would find something else to do :-/.

[TheBiggerFish]

Granted, they organize an assassination of Trump, Pence, and his Cabinet instead.

I wish that my next wish will not be corrupted.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. Your next wish will be incorruptible. It is so trivial however, that nobody cares.

I wish for Politics on the internet to vanish for a time.

[MoonyTheHuman]

Granted. The entirety of the real world is taken over by political discussion

[crazyabe]

Granted, you stop existing.

I Wish I, and only I Was Legally able to breach any law without consequences.

[MoonyTheHuman]

Granted. a new law is declared that whenever crazyabe is seen he must be brutally attacked, and hopefully, killed. Har har.

I wish for anything, nothing, or something inbetween to happen.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you cease to exist.

I wish people would stop trying to outsmart the game.

[Maegil]

Granted. In Soviet Russia, game outsmarts YOU!

I wish I could comfortably retire.

[MoonyTheHuman]

Granted. Rest in peace.

I wish for anything, nothing, or something inbetween to happen and/or me ceasing or not ceasing to exist and/or anything else or nothing with any loopholes being used and/or not used

[hops]

Granted. You become meguca.

I wish to become meguca.

[Imic]

Granted. You cease to exist for some reason.
I wish that I hadn't lost the game.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted. You are the game, and everyone plays you. For some reason this makes you uncomfortable...

I wish the world was powered by gunpowder the same way steam powers the world in steampunk.