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[Lenglon]

Granted, there's plenty of company in hell.

I wish I didn't feel like a horrible person for making that be my response to the above wish.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, you don't feel like a horrible person for what you've done, but everyone agrees you are anyway.

I wish I was a less horrible person.

[Maegil]

Granted. Your stunted black conscience gives you a light tinge about your daily atrocities. It's not enough to change your monstrous behaviour, but at least now you can feel regret, you less horrible person you!

I wish for breakfast, and there's nothing you can do to ruin that since I'm making it myself!

[S34N1C]

Granted. But you were robbed in the middle of the night, and they stole everything in your refrigerator except the ketchup.


I wish the xbox one wasn't the worst console ever designed.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Granted, they release another Xbone that's somehow even worse, and shill it endlessly with exclusives and shit.

I wish this essay was done already.

[crazyabe]

Granted, but someone broke in last night and used it as toilet paper, and thus you must redo it.

I Wish all countrys had a Single unified set of laws.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted. There are two Laws:

-The Strong will live.
-The Weak will Serve or Die.

I don't wish. The only way to stay Pure is to not join in the first place.

I do wish all beggars could ride.

[Maegil]

Granted. They can get a free ride on the bus to a tour in the Soylent Green factory.

I wish Malthus wasn't right.

[Kassire]

Granted. We now have too much food and are now suffocating under it.

Man, I wish I have the softest pillows.

[Maegil]

Granted. they're so soft you sink into them. They're too shallow to suffocate, but so soft that you feel as if you didn't have a pillow anyway.

I wish for the extinction of every single species of mosquitoes.

[Imic]

Granted, but they are replaced by a race of mutant bees.
I wish that Ireland was the greatest nation in the world.

[Maegil]

Granted. Ireland is the greatest nation in the world at Hurling.

I wish I had a new mosquito net.

[Imic]

Granted, but following your last wish there are no mosquitoes left. I hope you like giant mutant bees.
I wish that Ireland was better then America.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, Trump moves to Ireland.

I wish for a little peace of mind.

[TalonisWolf]

The mind is peaceful in Death. If you want to be picky, I can make that brain-dead.

I wish for a normal, pleasant, enjoyable, long life.