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[TalonisWolf]

Granted. They decide to put some punk-goth-heavy metal, and the airship comes apart from all the literal headbanging. You die as it falls into a volcano.

I wish I weren't an insomniac.

You fall into a permanent coma.

I wish I could be awesome in a way that isn't fatal to myself.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you are awesome in your own mind.
Everyone else think you are pathetic though.


I wish I didn't need sleep in order to function normally.

[Stirk]

Granted! Instead, you trance! It is basically the same thing, but more elfy, so society ostracizes you as they should.

I wish that I could correctly predict lottery numbers.

[DAPARROT]

granted, you can predict the previous lottery numbers

i wish that i had more free time

[Imic]

Granted, you use it all up doing useless things that you don't enjoy.
I wish that [REDACTED]

[Gwolfski]

You are [REDACTED] by [REDACTED] while [DATA EXPUNGED]

I wish the developer of Snapchat would acquire common sense and manners

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but they lose a lawsuit anyway and have to sell the development to someone who is an asshole.

I wish math always just made sense to me right away.

[misko27]

Granted, but you accidentally glimpse a list of the great unanswered questions in mathematics. You are shaken by your new knowledge and granted immense insight into the inner workings of the Universe. Unfortunately, you are unable to explain any of your discoveries properly to others, beyond ranting "It just makes sense!" And your visions never let up, meaning the mathematics infect every aspect of your life. You die alone in a mental asylum, ranting about things no one can understand, and indistinguishable from a lunatic.

I wish my headphones weren't broken.

[Maegil]

Granted, the earphones are fine, they don't work because you broke the jack inside the computer.

I wish I had a better grasp of physics.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You accidentally grab your physics instructors butt quite firmly. She presses charges.

I wish my headphones had survived being chewed by my dog.

[S34N1C]

Granted, They are alive, but have severe PTSD from the incident, and have violent flashbacks fairly often.


I wish the newtons cradle I bought from this museums gift shop wasn't an absolute piece of shit.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. It now functions so well manufacturers want it back to use as a standard for manufacturing.

I wish I was better at making good decisions.

[Stirk]

Granted! However, to increase the quality you had to drastically increase the time spent on each decision. You starve to death trying to decide what to have for breakfast.

I wish I could focus on studying better.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, you focus on it so intently you don't notice as your body withers away and shuts down.

I wish all the wishes were uncorrupted.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but they also couldnt be granted. ergo, nothing happens.

I wish I wasn't lonely and cold.