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[Maegil]

Granted. Your mother said she's your fan.

I wish Lord_lemonpie's avatar wasn't so annoying.

[TheBiggerFish]

Granted.
It's now a memetic kill agent--

----------------------------

[Strife26]

Granted.

I wish that my favorite pen still had ink

[Lord_lemonpie]

Wish granted. Your favourite pen now uses your very own blood to write. You can never use another writing device, including computers. Your Bay12 posts will now have to be pictures of text written with your own blood.

I wish there was less rain and more snow in my country

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, you are snowed in indefinitely. You eventually starve.

I wish that I believed in magic, in a young girl's heart.

[TheBiggerFish]

... You do that...

I wish that - - INTERRUPTING COW. - -

[Maegil]

You're now in India. Return 1d6 spaces and lose a turn.

I wish my grass was greener than the neighbor's.

[Stirk]

Granted. A paint truck crashes into your house, spilling green paint all over your lawn and killing your grass. At least it is green.

I wish for a cup that refills itself with root-beer constantly.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, unfortunately you live in a dystopian future where conformity is enforced. You are shot for having a different colour lawn than everyone else. Ninja'd

Granted, you are immediately tasered by the SCP Foundation and your new cup is taken.

I wish that I could just be cute and everyone will understand me.

[TheBiggerFish]

Granted, but you cannot STOP being cute.

I wish.

[Maegil]

You did, but.

I wish my gaming computer was repaired.

[Dunamisdeos]

You gaming computer is repaired, and immediately becomes self aware. The human race is wiped out by factory-produced robotic imitations of a 90's-era Austrian Actor.

I wish I had cable.

[Maegil]

Granted, walking down the street you find half a spool of cable.

I wish I didn't weren't an insomniac.

[Hiddenleafguy]

Granted, now you are in foreversleep.
I wish I could meet Matt Cosgrove, Jackson Turner, and Faust Kells in person.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. They show up to make out with ur mom.

I wish for better yo momma jokes.