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[TheBiggerFish]

You do.
It is a shield made of meat.

I wish I could write the essays I need to write, and write said essays well enough to maintain the necessary GPA.

[Twinwolf]

Granted. You write them well enough to maintain the GPA necessary for failure.

I wish I didn't require sleep.

[Sl4cker]

Granted. Not sleeping won't kill you- it'll just make you feel utterly horrible and dreadful enough you legitimately wish for death.

I wish I was the reincarnation of William Chester Minor.

[Maegil]

Granted. Your karma makes you be born female and join a nunnery.

I wish the GMs wouldn't take so long to update.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, they are now slaves with their very fate tied to the continous updating of the game. Many become sick and tired of their games but are force to continue.

I wish to be smaller.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, cells gobble you up on contact.

I wish for a less gruesome death upon Maegil.

[Maegil]

Granted, Maegil becomes immortal and is locked in a tiny safe box for eternity.

I wish good wine wasn't so expensive.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted.

It is $800. The best wine costs $2100. Price contrasting ftw.

I wish I wasn't stoned.

[Sl4cker]

Granted. Now the depression and guilt starts creeping back in...

I wish the person who posts after me was sent to eternal damnation.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, I am now being tortured in all eternity.
But I saw some almost newly born puppies yesterday, so I have no regrets.


I wish I would take some time to revamp my forum avatar.

[TheBiggerFish]

You do.
It looks worse.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, you come up with the single most perfect wish anyone could wish for. Unfortunately, you can only post it here and it soon gets corrupted.

I wish I could understand Trump.

[TheBiggerFish]

Granted.
You cannot understand anything else.

I wish that I had wished the perfect wish.

[crazyabe]

Granted, You wish the perfect wish for a man who wants you to die, You were never born.


I wish I could Mod Dwarf fortress well.

[Lord_lemonpie]

You are now a wonderful Dwarf Fortress modder, but you can only mod dwarf fortress if someone with an extremely weird fetish asks you so.
Your latest release features male dwarves making clothes of the skins of their former spouses while simultaneously unbirthing live hornets, among other things.

I wish my RPG was more succesfull ;_;