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[crazyabe]

Granted, But you mangle Japanese So badly that everything you say sounds like an Insult.


I Wish My computer Wished for me to be It's User.

[hops]

Granted. You are forced to use your computer and not allowed to leave it. You die of thirst.

I wish that western grocery actually had decent tropical ingredients.

[Sl4cker]

Granted. Everything other than tropical ingredients tastes nauseating.

I wish I had some perfectly cut slices of bread.

[Adragis]

They are so finely cut that the process of cutting them in the first place split several atoms and devastated several countries. You monster.

I wish for a six-tonne block of cheese.

[crazyabe]

Granted, It is made out of Casu marzu, Is Sentiant, And Is Attempting to KILL and EAT You.


I Wish I could Eat, Digest, and Excrete anything!

[thedrelle]

Granted, but the minute you stop eating, digesting and excreting, you die.

I wish I would never die.

[vkiNm]

Granted. You have to live through your eternal life watching everyone you ever loved, love, will ever love, dies before you and there's absolutely nothing you can do about that. You're also dirt poor and can never seems to make any money.

And the government is experimenting on you indefinitely since you don't die.


I wish I have the ability to pause and resume time and still be able to interact with the world even if I had paused the time and everything else is frozen in time.

[crazyabe]

Granted, but The Laws of physics are stopped by Your power, Luckily The Planet earth's Rotation and Orbit isn't... WTF DID you Do to the Universe?

I wish For the same powers as vkiNm did in the post above, Without the Problems.

[hops]

Granted, the weird physics kinks are worked out. However, you are instantly flung off Earth's orbit at high speed upon stopping time due to your momentum.

I wish to see dark matter.

[Sl4cker]

Granted.
...
This ability helps you immensely in your daily life. Not. No one really believes you can see dark matter, either.

I wish I ruled over「ZA WARUDO」.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, unfortunately it was so uncorruptible that it kills this thread.

I wish to live long and prosper.

[Insanegame27]

Granted. You are still alive by the time the 9016 (AD) zombie apocalypse strikes. You have lived over 8900 years with dimensia, stroke, and many other old-age maladies

[Sl4cker]

You didn't have a wish, as such you get burned at the Bay12 stake.

I wish I could draw well.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, but all you can every draw well is NSFW art from an obscure, esoteric and long-dead franchise.

I wish for plushies.

[Sl4cker]

Granted, but all you get are NSFW plushies from an obscure, esoteric and long-dead franchise.

I wish I was Buddha.