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[TheBiggerFish]

With magma.

I wish I knew what to wish.

[Twinwolf]

Granted. Sometime in the far future, you think of the best wish ever. But the thread at that point is dead.

I wish I had some coffee.

[Sl4cker]

Granted, but...
The coffee tastes terrible.
It's been spiked with cyanide.
And all these things put together mean you're in a cheesy detective film.

I wish I had a powerful Stand that never backfires.

[Magnumcannon]

Granted, it only frontfires and sidefires. 75.55% of the human race has been extinct and the remaining has turned into a bunch of drunk gargoyles and they all want you DEAD.

I wish to be transformed into a biological weapon just so i can exterminate the entire human race. Complete with chainsaws and some quantum sci-fi bullcrap.

[hops]

Granted.

What? Corruption is relative.

I wish to be an anime protagonist.

[crazyabe]

Granted, The Anime is about A Young Woman who defeats monsters by "screwing" them, She gets pregnant and gives birth 37 times in season one, Just wait for season two which involves Lots of Bondage...


I Wish that Fallout 4 Was Severely better, And I had a copy of it Legally!

[Twinwolf]

Granted. You have a copy, but it's so good that modern systems simply don't have the power to run it.

I wish I'd already done my homework.

[hops]

Granted, but you got hungry and ate your homework.

I wish for beagle puppies.

[Twinwolf]

Granted. You get so many that they fill your home to the top and there is no longer any room for you.

I wish I had kittens.

[TheBiggerFish]

Granted.  They are thermonuclear.

I wish that I had a social life.

[crazyabe]

Grante

Ş̗̜̭̜̹̳̘͐͆̑͐͊ͩ̚o̶͈͈͌ͬ̾͠ͅç̫̯͎̜͇̘̹̎͌i̜̠̱̮̼̝̩̓ͫ̔͐ͬ̽͆ͥ̇ͅaͩ̈́͋̃̓ͩ̿̐͏̴͓̥͓͇̙̩̰͙͘l̪̺̪ͫ͋̒̌_̧͉͎̺̙̃͆͋͆͛̃ͧͨ̚̕͢L̢͕̫̩͉̺̈̌͜i̵̟̜̺̺͈͈̬̎̈́̏̓̓̚ḟ̛͇̙̜͐͊̆̔̃͞ẽ͔̘͈̺̦̱ͣ͌͘.̢̤̯͎͖̞͕͒͑̽ͩẺ̵̯͓̺̹͓̘̦ͪX̨̛̤̩̜̗̻̹̓ͯ͛͋ͨͫ̈͟E͕̯̦͒̒ͤ̏ͮ̃̿̋̽ ̬̮̥͈̰͉ͫ̐̽̽ͅH̭̝͙̤̳͕̯ͦ͊ͯͦ̊͜͠ͅå̷͖̩͔̱̞̫̝̈ͦͦ̉͞ş̧̛̖ͥͭ ̗̬̳͛ͫ̾ͯ͒̔̔ͬş̷̣̻͓͕̜̩̙̲ͪ̌̓̽t̴̹̰̮̬̮͇̿͢͝ͅŏ̶͕͔̯̪̥̄̈́͊̃ͣ̏ͯp̥̣ͤͥ͆̊̈̃̚͝p̵̲̻̝̉͌͗ͯͬͨ͒͢͠ȩ̭̹͖̘̲ͯ͐͐̈́ͣ̀͟d̶̨͚̹̘͖͖̖̋ͨ̀ ̶̢̢̭̬̟̫̌͌̏w̴̷̯̪̦̲̥̑ͥ̉ǫ̸̟̞̹̳́̒͑̑ͣ͊ͬŗ͓̼̭̙͓͍͌ͣ͋ͯ͌̆k̢̫̞͓̹͚̪̑̃̇ͭ̎ͣ̑̆̍́i͊̾̈ͩ̒̎̏́҉̢̯n̢ͬ̔ͭ̑̒ͬ҉͕̝g̶̫̝̞̯̗͖͓̩̿ͧ,̙̜̞͚̦͎̼̂̏͐̅̊ͮ̀͠ ̴͎̏̃̅̂ͬ͛̐Ẇ̝͇̭͇̃̄̽̚͝ȍ̘̭̳̺̣̖ͣ̑̿ͮ̽ͥ̑͜u̍̎͐ͮ̅͘͟͏̙͍̲͕̻l͗̅ͧ͑ͮ͐ͧͤ̒҉̸̡͍͎̖͚̣͈̭d̸̤̭ͩ̂͊͘ ̸̛͎̝̯̻͚̦̮͔̤̑̆̎̔ͧͮ̓͢y̡͈͙̤̦̘̿ͤͯͦ͆ͧ͘o̵̼̳͙͇̺͈̣͐ͩ͊ͯú̒ͯ͋ͫ̃̏͢͏͙̼̗͞ ̢̡͉̞̺̦̭̝̩̂̉̆ͪ̄͋ļ̝̻͈͕̦̗͖̬̅̋ͬ̔̓i̯͔̱͈̦̮̟̒ͣ͋̃̏k͍͎̰̣̥̗̝̩̟ͧ̑̓ͯḙ̵͇̯͕͇̠͈ͫ̾ͯ͗̊̚͝ ͔̠͈̲͗t͕̳̫̮̎̎͋ͪ͑̓̐ȍ̫͓̭̜̖̾̾̈͘ ̢̧̠̪̺̱̠̩̅k̸̨̗̗ͥͪ̌̂ͤ̈́͛i̒̒͐҉̵̣̩͎̕l̨͖̟͉̹̓ͪ͗ͅl̃̂̄̇͗̊̚͢҉͓̘̙ͅ ̸̥͗̚͟͟ț̸̐ͪͫ̓ͭ̉ͨh̨̟͚̤̰̳̺̥͔̅e̵͚͓̱̣̊̂͂̈ͯ̊̚ͅ ̢͙̩̭̱̹̜͕̓͋̿͛͊̿̀̓̅͞O͊̑̎̓҉͈̫̞̫̰̜̀͞w̗̌̽ͨ̚͟n̩̠̭ͪ̊ͧ̔̅̄͘è̶̳̯̳̺̙̦͖͕̉̃ͯ̅̓̆ͨr͚̪̺͎̬̟̝͋̓ ͕̱̭̮̙͍́ͯ̏̃͊̽̇ͤ́̕͜o̾ͦ͑͐̔̎͆҉͇̲͍͍̟͜f̲̞͉̂͋͗̽̿̊ͮͭ ̯͓̞̣̝̩͇̂͛̏̒t̡̮̟̞͈̆̋͗̏ͯ͠h̖̃̅͜í̶̷̻̦͚̞̘̫̤͍̺͑̊̆ͤͯş̛̣̪̩̩̱͐̎̀̆ ̛͎͔̭̠̗͕͛ͤ̉̈́́̒Ṣ̷͓͖̑̇̕͡c̛̦̾̄ơ̙̯̻̗͙̮̝ͮ̉ͣ̈́̍͆c̟̝͉̙̼͙̿̅̒̇̇̑͟i̖̯̻̠̗̲͂̔̆̎̓͡a̗͔̰̠̮͖̋̏͑̿́͞l͖̹̘̻͚͚̘̹̰̿̿̅̂͊̈́͡ ̛̤͕̅̓̋̈̄̒̚L̶͉̳͙̩̙̊͆̄͡i̺̣͔͊ͥ͋̿ͫ̈́͐ͭf͉̤̥͍ͣͩ̇͑̓͊e̴̞̠̤͕͈̎ͥ̋͌̅͘?̨̼͎ͫ̍̕ͅ

(Yes)/(Yes)?

I wish I had the final version of Dwarf fortress to ever be Coded On my Compter!

[Magnumcannon]

Granted, you are able to get Dwarf Fortress 99.99.99 that was finished in the year of 4005 by Cyborg Toady VI in the planet of Mercury. The version is so advanced, the game comes to live and enslaves you, along with the rest of the planet. It was inevitable.

I wish for a shotgun in my hands. Now.

[crazyabe]

Granted, It Silently shoots Exploding Shot glasses that seek other planets and Avoids living Creatures! Its Perfect!


I Wish I had A Better Computer!

[thedrelle]

Granted

Your computer is so good, it becomes sentient and wishes for a better user.

[Megggas]

Granted.  I am now its user.  I like to disassemble my equipment.

I wish I knew Japanese.