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[SOLDIER First]

Granted. The dead don't have any responsibilities.
I wish homework didn't exist.

[Megggas]

Granted.  Instead, after school hours, teachers visit kids at their homes and give them surprise pop quizzes.  Thanks a lot.

I wish I knew pi to 5000 places.

[crazyabe]

Granted you can but it takes up your entire memory and drives you insane


I wish i had a hell hound

[Megggas]

Granted.  You now have your own copy of the horror movie Hellhounds.  Enjoy.

I wish that I could cure any diseased person by sneezing on them.

[crazyabe]

granted you catch what ever they had, have a good time with the black death you just sneezed on a piece of ash from a person that died if it


I wish i had a cult devoted to me

[Eric Blank]

Granted. They believe the ritual sacrifice of their god's avatar, you, will grant them eternal paradise or something.

I wish for comfier couches to laze on.

[crazyabe]

Granted they are SOOOO comfy that you never get up, you die three weeks later because the couch was a monster that injected you with relaxants till you died


I wish that people would leave me alone

[Megggas]

(Quick, everyone stop posting in this thread.  Crazyabe wants his privacy)

Wish granted.  Two minutes later, you trip and fall.  You call for help, but no one comes.  Oh, if only you had Life Alert...

I wish that all bad people were imprisoned.

[crazyabe]

Granted there are no people who are bad at any thing outside of jail, and World leaders have gone extinct
I wish people always knew what i meant

[Eric Blank]

Granted. They know what you meant subconsciously. You end up sounding like an asshole even when trying to be super tactful.

I wish I wasn't doomed to be a lonely jackass forever.

[crazyabe]

Granted you have a jackass wife and 13 jackass kids
I wish i could cause things to fail

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted. Unfortunately, you fail to control your ability.

I wish for a server rack.

[crazyabe]

Granted it is an ancient form of torture device made out of a modern Server
I wish I Owned everything

[Megggas]

Granted. Everything now officially belongs to you including the world's supply of death threats, terrorist plots, and child pornography.  The police are now knocking on your door.

I wish that puppies were cuter than kittens.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, the combined cuteness of both now causes a singularity that swallows the entire planet into diabetes and heart attacks.

I wish for the ability to make whatever I say sound like proven scientific fact.