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[Rose]

Granted, you are immune to the effects of the astrological sign.

I wish people would know the difference between 'to' and 'too'.

[blazing glory]

Granted, but people like me are still to lazy too get it right all the time.

I wish to be able to magically make whatever food I want to appear.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, but the food you wish for must be months old.

I wish for long-lasting foods.

[Megggas]

Granted.  Your food is loaded with preservatives.

I wish that I could have 5 more wishes.

[crazyabe]

Granted but you need to Do them because you are now a genie


I wish i could Summon drugs

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, you promptly get arrested and sentenced to death for owning them.

I wish to be able to write essays.

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted. You can write essays containing dark secrets that mankind was not meant to know, now the world is going insane and the leak of eldritch knowledge has brought this world to the attention of unspeakable horrors!

I wish I had one of said unspeakable horrors as a pet, without the madness and other harmful effects that usually comes with them.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, but then the SCP Foundation kicks in your door, tasers you and runs away with your pet.

I wish for a repeating crossbow.

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted, you have a crossbow that repeats everything you say. There's no way to get rid of it either, it seems to always fall back in your possession after series of strange coincidences.

I wish the SCP foundation would stop stealing all of my pets, I mean it's like the 5th time this year and they haven't even apologized for the tasers!

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, they steal you instead for somehow acquiring all sorts of SCPs.

I wish to have super awesome DF modding skills.

[Hiddenleafguy]

Granted, however your mod is so good that it causes something similar to SAO to happen, and everyone is trapped in DF, together, you are killed by the mob!
I wish I had pizza, in the shape of my head!

[Eric Blank]

I wish there were wishes to corrupt for my own amusement.

[crazyabe]

Granted they are yours


i wish I was a SCP

[Hiddenleafguy]

Granted, you are held within a standard containment cell, and are then killed during a containment breach of the shy guy!
I wish that life was more badass.

[crazyabe]

Granted you are trapped in an action movie


I wish I has alchemy