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[Arcvasti]

Granted. You can now control empty space. Good job.

I wish for veto power over squirrels.

[crazyabe]

granted now if only giant ground squirrels, the only type it works on wore not extinct.

I wish i could telaport!

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, you now have telportitis but no teleport control.

I wish JavaScript became magic.

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted. A child, after seeing his dad make something neat with JavaScript, said "Wow! JavaScript is magic!". JavaScript therefore became magic to him.

[Lenglon]

Granted, FArgHalfnr has vanished without a trace!

I wish I had a pet flying cat.

[crazyabe]

granted your cat is "flying" away from a catapult


I wish i had teleport control

[NJW2000]

Granted. Nobody teleports though, so it's an empty title.

I wish my ISG would update itself.

[crazyabe]

granted it gains sapience "Updates" your computer & Locks you out


I wish i could take a guided tour of hell

[crazyabe]

granted it is a wild lion that is eating your legs right now


i wish i could go to hell

[Urist McCoder]

You visit hell, but the doors lock behind you.

I wish to burn the moon.

[NJW2000]

You can, though this obviously requires an atmosphere. It is now on earth and on fire. And you royally f*cked up the tides. The fishing authorities hate your ass, man.

I wish playes in my RTD would submit reasonable stats.

[Twinwolf]

Granted, but because of it, there aren't any hilarious overshoots or equally hilarious failures.

I wish I had a life time supply of cake.

[Urist McCoder]

you have that, but you die immediately.
I wish that the ocean was made of frogs.

[Megggas]

Granted.  Your villainy knows no bounds!  However, James Bond is already on his way to your secret lair, and now you won't be able to use sharks.

I wish that I could force people I don't like to travel 2000 years into the future!

[Twinwolf]

Granted. However, at the time they are sent to, they have time machines, so they come back and kill you for sending them to the apocalyptic future. But then they never went there, so they never came back to kill you, but then you didn't die so they were sent in the future, but then they came back and killed you... the paradox implodes the universe.

I wish I had a pet dog.