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[Hiddenleafguy]

Granted, now gold is valued at less then 5 cents, enjoy your common yellow house!
I wish I had both a portal gun, and the leg brace things on my legs correctly at all time.

[heydude6]

Granted, you then get sued by aperture for stealing their prototype.

I wish I was an awesome lawyer.

[Hiddenleafguy]

Granted, you send the love of your life to prison.
I wish superheros were real.

[Tomasque]

Granted. Have you ever read watchmen? Now everyone's rioting against them like in the comic.

I wish I had a big dictionary. (No, seriously. I could look up anything!)

[dmatter]

Granted. The big dictionary only contains words from non-standard English dialects, but doesn't say where they come from specifically.

I wish that every door was blue.

[dmatter]

Does anyone else think we should have some sort of rubric here for how good the corruptions are? IE, how much did you corrupt the person's wish, how creative was the corruption ultimately, and how many lines did you use to do so?

IE, if I wish for ramen, then having it dumped, boiling hot on my head, would score pretty low (out of a 1-5 score, probably 1, 1, 5). On the other hand if the ramen becomes sentient, and kills my family right before my very own eyes before becoming a normal bowl of soup again, might rank a bit more of a medium score (I'd say about 3, 3, 4). Thoughts?

[Hiddenleafguy]

Sounds good, unfortunately it is predicted that no one else will like it.

[heydude6]

Granted. Every single door that ever existed suddenly transforms into the light waves that corresponded to the colour blue. There are no more doors.

I wish I knew everything!

[Arcvasti]

Granted. You know all the things. Knowledge is power. Power is energy. Energy equals mass times the speed or light or somesuch. You collapse into a black hole and wreak havoc on the world. You monster.

I wish for consistent people.

[spümpkin]

Granted. People are now as consistent as can be. Because everyone is a robots. You try to find a friend, but no robot could ever learn friendship. You die insane and lonely.

I wish that everything loved me.

[dmatter]

Granted. Everything loves you, but only as concept. Everyone actually hates spending time with you or talking to you. A few don't mind stalking you or doxing you though, for what that's worth. Animals might stare from a distance, but they won't approach even if they're domesticated.

I wish more people escaped the existential singularity.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Granted, Science is now worse off since it does not have people on the field researching it.

I wish to have a hot water dispenser.

[crazyabe]

granted you have a dispenser mounted in the back of your head that only produces steam.


i wish i had a remote that allowed me to control time without affecting me!

[NJW2000]

Granted. And can you ever find the remote when you need it? No. No, you cannot.

Is it always next to the sofa? Yes, yes it is. Are there sofas in ancient mesopotamia? No. Enjoy ancient mesopotamia, Abe.

I wish I could draw gud.

[crazyabe]

granted you can only draw bad pictures of an old fat man named Gud


I wish that i had a flying sofa controlled by my mind!