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[Urist McScoopbeard]

Granted, they have glorious revolutions and become expansionist empires.

I wish my laptop would run new games.

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted, it can run all kinds of new ascii only roguelikes.

I wish a pet t-rex.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. It's the pet T-Rex of your archenemy, who orders it to kill you.

I wish for magic beans.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. It's the pet T-Rex of your archenemy, who orders it to kill you.

I wish for magic beans.

Granted, but you already ate them.
You should probably have that checked before they grow.


I wish the world was less perilous than it currently is.

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted, the world is put in stasis, making it entirely safe.

I wish crocodiles would be tamable.

[NJW2000]

Granted. People flush them down the toilets when they get too big, and we are now knee-deep in troglocrocs.

I wish bubblewrap was edible.

[Adragis]

It is, but now it doesn't pop.

I wish for SAXTON HALE!

[IronTomato]

Granted. He is sitting on you. He sure feels heavy.

I wish it cost four hundred thousand dollars to fire my gun.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Nobody actually fires your gun, and you are left as broke as the day you were born.

I wish for Magick!

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted. Heavy weapons guy sends you to the hospital for touching sasha.

I wish I didn't have blood on my suit.
(Ninja! :c)

Granted. Everyone now has magick, but no one know how to control it, resulting in millions of deaths.

I wish for a robot horse.

[Generally me]

Granted. Jimothy(robot horse... I named him) falls in love with me and runs away to get married with me. Trampling you in the process.

I wish Jimothy and me lived happily ever after.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. However, the nice dog you met just a short while before Jimothy dies lonely in a puddle of her own tears.

I wish for the power to transform people into literal anthropomorphic animal-people, just to torment those who discuss killing people who jack off to cartoons. Because murder isn't okay, yo. (But ploymorphing unwilling victims into the very thing the people they hate want to fuck totally is. Don't look at me like that!)

[FArgHalfnr]

Granted. Apparently, there is a bunch of people who think they will be able to learn how to replicate your powers by opening you up. These people also happen to be at the head of various secret agencies, unfortunately for you. You die after your vivisection, and nothing is learned from that.

I wish to be part of the reptilian agenda.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You're one of the billions of slaves they use to effect their nefarious schemes.

I wish to immediately know any associations a person I'm looking at has, and what their intentions are.

[NJW2000]

Granted. You didn't want to know those things about the dog next door.

I wish for an instant pizza powder to be invented, by me.