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[94dima94]

Granted. Every conflict is now discussed in real life. People now actually kill each other over everything they used to argue about in comments and tweets, like which music is better. The victims are uncountable. But at least nobody has time to argue on the internet; the few survivors who are able to connect use it as a peaceful haven, the only "place" left on Earth free from conflict and death.

I wish for a new, better car.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You don't have the keys.

I wish for a watch.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. It has a GPS tracking device in it, and the NSA is watching.

I wish for a giant wad of cash.

[WillowLuman]

You get the big money cash wad but as per agreement have to go live with Lemongrab.

I wish I was better at managing my time.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Every time you get caught procrastinating on the forums, I will hurl a wet moldy sock full of horse poo at you.

I wish the horses didn't need food

[jaxy15]

Granted. However, you now have to cut a hole in the side of their body every so often and pour gasoline inside so that they may continue living.

I wish for infinite oxygen.

[94dima94]

Granted. You now breathe only air composed of 100% oxygen. Your blood pressure will kill you in a bit.

I wish for great drawing skills.

[timferius]

 Granted, you draw a bow back with skill and ease, but you're still miserable at the aiming part.

I wish I was an expert archer.

[flabort]

Granted. You are hired to become part of a mercenary troupe, and when you need to burn down a building, they have you shoot a fire arrow at it. But because jaxy15's wish caused the atmousphere to be 100% oxygen, the moment you light the arrow you burn down the entire earth.

I wish to own four copies of every MtG card ever printed, plus infinite land cards.

[Arcvasti]

Granted. Your entire house is flooded with them and you suffocate. Most of them were in really bad condition anyways.

I wish I was a wizard.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You can only cast one spell. It massively increases the strength and speed of anyone in a 5 kilometer radius except for you, gives them the ability to sense your location and makes them want to kill you.

I wish for a watermelon.

[94dima94]

Granted. It appears 5 feet over your head, without any warning.

I wish for a lot of bubble wrap.

[jefam99]

Granted. It appears 5 feet over your head, without any warning.

I wish for a lot of bubble wrap.

Granted, but your kids pop all of it before you can(use it?)

I wish my brother and i had tickets to the new Hobbit movie pre-release

[Erils]

I wish my brother and i had tickets to the new Hobbit movie pre-release

Granted. You and your brother are the only ones who get tickets and the movie fails economically with that pre-release being the only time it is ever shown. At least you got to see it though.

I wish I had the new Hobbit Movie on dvd so I can sell copies while its still in theaters.

[Tomasque]

Granted. But since it's made or the theater screen, it glitches out horribly.

 I wish I had the knowledge of everything written in D&D manuals.