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[94dima94]

Granted. But, the safety code to activate your power is the Encyclopaedia Britannica. All of it. You must read it out loud, from beginning to end, without a single mistake and without ANY other word until you are done, to activate your power. Once. Next time you want to do it, you have to read it all over again.

I wish for the power to immediately learn and remember anything I see/read.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted but your eyes lips and ears are permanently seen shut so you can no longer learn things


I wish to have stocks in oil

[Stirk]

Granted! You have stocks in a worthless snake oil company.

I wish to be more powerful than any game moderator ever!

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You use your power to shoot the players until they leave, killing the game.

I wish for lunch.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted it's a moldy sand which

I wish for dinner

[Arcvasti]

Granted. It won't stop making a horrible racket and the noise and annoyingness increase exponentially until the sound waves tear the planet apart.

I wish for hot chocolate mixed with marshmallows.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but it is served with ice as well.

I wish this dog wasn't so heavy :x

[Ultimuh]

Granted, it's now so light it floats all the way up to the upper stratosphere.

I wish that dog was immortal and invulnerable. (Both these words mean different things.)

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but it also has a bad temper.

I wish my apartment wasn't so cold and dark.

[Prophet]

Granted. You now have the sun in your apartment. Bye!

I wish that I was a pirate!

[TD1]

Granted. You spend all your money on hookers, booze, and parrots. You also lose an eye and leg, and that's just the initiation ceremony!

I wish I was intellectual.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but most people disagree with you so they call you an idiot.

I wish the financial aid office would stop procrastinating.

[Shoruke]

Granted. They immediately decide you no longer qualify for financial aid.

I wish for a clothes-dryer.

[WillowLuman]

You get mine, which is a piece of crap.

I wish for a uni paper thread.

[timferius]

Granted, a thread is opened for discussion/worship of the great Uni-Paper, divine consciousness of all paper.

I wish for an end to all internet arguments, and for the net to become a centre of peace and enjoyment.