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[Eric Blank]

Granted. They are reasonably serious about killing each other over petty things.

I wish to give people rocket propelled hugs.

[blazing glory]

Granted but your shoulders can't take it and fly off your body.

I wish for foxes to bribe Kevak with.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Unfortunately, they perish in transit due to improper handling.

I wish I had time to game, and not time taken from doing important things.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. The time is taken from other people's lives. Jerk.

I wish that all my limbs and appendages will still being functional, attached to me, and not frozen off come spring.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, however, any cut, bruise or any kind of damage done to your limbs will cause extreme scarring.

I wish to have a quarterstaff, and to be able to use it properly and skillfully.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. I beat the crap out of you with my own quarterstaff. Practice more, fabulous less.

I wish for a puppy dispenser.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, they emerge at superluminal speeds.

I wish I had the motivation to work that I had at the start of the quarter.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You quickly have nothing left to do and go insane.

I wish for reindeer.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You are now a reindeer. You are currently having your guts torn out by a bear.

I wish for everything.

[94dima94]

Granted. You don't get to pick the order, though. The first things delivered are spiders, scorpions, bugs and deadly diseases. Everything else will be delivered in 2 or 3 days.

I wish for a superpower that allows me to teleport anywhere I wish.

[Magnumcannon]

Granted, but you glitch while trying to do so. Now you're stuck a strange swamp with a strange ogre.

I wish for a invincibility.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but you must steal it from an invincible person.

I wish for linoleum.

[94dima94]

Granted. Are you familiar with the King Midas legend? Well, that's now you. Only, with linoleum. Good luck.

I wish for a hamster.

[flabort]

Granted. The hamster is smarter than you and makes fun of you all the time for being a dumb human.

I wish for a hamster-hating amphibious dolphin.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. The world is now plagued by vicious dolphins which break into houses and eat little kids' pet hamsters. Then they beat up the kids and chastise them for keeping such pathetic pets. You are a horrible person.

I wish for the ability to create or remove any object, creature, or device with just my imagination and a safety word to prevent me doing it on accident.