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[Angle]

Granted. You now know that he has found a wonderful paradise you will never be able to reach.

I wish people were sensible.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but you aren't

I wish my health hadn't suddenly fucked up.

[Prophet]

Granted. It fucks up now instead of then.

Now that I've managed to make a not utterly horrible fortress I wish I new enough about dice and their systems to not be horrible at GMing.

[Angle]

Granted, you get horrible players instead.

I wish for an Ice cream cone.

[Prophet]

Granted. It tastes horrible.

I wish that I could be as smart as Kevak-senpai.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, but there can be only one! you both fight for a whole week before you strike him down and promptly die from exhaustion.

I wish for a FULLY AUTOMATIC WALRUS LAUNCHER

[Aseaheru]

Granted. However, it only fires if pointed at you, and the walruses launched are covered in explosives.

I wish that things would itch less.

[Argonnek]

Granted. Your nerves now no longer detect the sensation of "itchy." The things that cause it are no less present, though, so your nerves (not having a specific way of communicating this sensation) interpret all normally itchy things as horribly painful.

I wish I could create amazing mechanical contraptions.

[Prophet]

Granted. They rebel against you then kill you.

I wish that my next attempt to GM goes better then my last.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but it takes all your time.

I wish my non-illustrated games would un-slump.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. They mound instead.

I wish for bumps.

[Stirk]

Granted. Unfortunately, the bumps are in the night. You will soon find out why you fear the dark.

I wish that my characters could slay Boogeymen with ease!

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You get wise and mod in faux bogeymen that are extremely easy to defeat. Except the fact you have to allow the game to generate one normal bogeyman that will still kick your ass.

I wish for buckets of gold.

[Shoruke]

Someone taps you on the shoulder, and when you turn around, BAM! Bucket full of gold to the face. Then it turns out that it was liquid gold, which spills on you. That's... gonna leave some burn marks.

I wish for gold bars.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You can go there to drink liquid gold. It ends poorly.

I wish for a planet made of gold to ram into Jupiter.