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[Stirk]

Granted. It brings up Crawl, the place I am familiar with it from.

I wish I could order the moon to whisper secrets to people.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but they cannot hear it because the moon is in space.

I wish to beat Binding of Isaac.

[Tawa]

Granted. It takes you seventy-three years, your job, and all interpersonal relationships.

I wish for the Amulet of Yendor. That blasted Valkyrie stole it all those years ago and never gave it back.

[Stirk]

Granted. Unfortunately, it turns out to have been a cheep plastic knockoff.

I wish I was actually good at Rouge-likes.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You are now extremely good at "rouge-likes", whatever those are. You are still bad at rogue-likes, though.

I wish for a brick.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You get a Lego brick. Only one.

I wish for a tub of infinite legos.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, you fall in and drown in its infinite depths of sharp plastic.

I wish I didn't need sleep to function.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, but now you need triple the amount of food and water per day to survive.

I wish for someone's scent to hit me like mustard gas.

[Stirk]

Granted, it is your own. Have fun living with that!

I wish that my games would quit getting killed...

[Eric Blank]

Granted. You'll have to get rid of the gun avatars, though; your players keep getting ahold of them and shooting your games. That's totally what's happening.

I wish for warmth. I don't care about the climate, just give me warm weather.

[hops]

Granted. Welcome to El Inferno. Enjoy your stay and ignore that luchador who is going around the place and the angry purple chicken.

I wish to become a luchador.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but this involved getting killed and having to find a mask in the underworld

I wish I had that game.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You die faster in order to allow them to live longer.

I wish for dollars to rain from the sky.

[jaxy15]

Granted. They are all on fire.

I wish for a book to hit people with.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. It is inadequate for the purposes of causing harm, but you hit them with it anyway. This results in a broken nose for you.

I wish I had a well-paying job.