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[Tawa]

Granted. The physicist ducks, doesn't get them in his face, and laughs at you.

I wish my DF adventurer with full iron armor named Uzo Soulsburn hadn't just gotten a bullshit death.

[Helgoland]

Granted, he's crippled for life. And transmogrified into a potato.

I wish for orbital bombardment.

[Tawa]

Granted. You are the only survivor and, in your sadness, become a fervent worshipper of a self-created belief that forbids suicide. You then mutate and lose your ability to die of old age, along with generating energy from sunlight, after constructing a reinforced glass wall over an old basement foundation. You live, alone, until the sun explodes.

I wish that there was no common misconception that the sun would ever go supernova.

[Andres]

Granted. Nobody sees it coming when it does.

I wish for seeds.

[~Neri]

Granted. As I have no idea what that is, there is now an infestation of fox kits.

(Oh come on, you could have at least googled it!)

Granted, you are struck with the solemn duty to drown them out with other wishes

I wish everything was bees.

((It's much more fun this way~))

[Tawa]

Granted. You are smashed to pieces for not responding to Andres' innocent wish for seeds.

I wish I was as good at making up pre-asskicking and/or post-mortem one-liners as Frederick and/or James Bond, respectively.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Nobody wants.to be near you for fear that they might become the next subject of your amazing one-liners.

I wish for a functioning pump.

[Andres]

Granted. It's a stomach pump. The doctors are using a stomach pump on you. Because you just OD'd on bleach.

I wish for a heart.

[Stirk]

Granted. You had one all along. This journey was just to show you that!

I wish to change the alphabet to put Y next to Z.

[blazing glory]

Granted, you have a heart of gold, you don't live long since it's not pumping blood.

Granted but this disrupts the universe's natural order and causes black holes and other anomaly's to appear.

I wish for nerves of steel.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, you get electrocuted and die cause of the steel within thee.

I WISH TO BE AN ALL POWERFUL

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

leather craftsman

[jefam99]

Granted, however PETA catches wind of your talent and burns you alive

I wish I had 5 trillion dollars

[jaxy15]

Granted. You get 5 trillion dollars worth of human organs.

I wish for a wish.

[hops]

Granted. It is corrupted.

I wish for melons.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, their vines cover your house and the fruit locks together to form bricks, sealing you in.

I wish for rockets.