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[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You also learn of every hallucination or delusion in human history and go quite mad as a result.

I wish for something to happen such that the universe's entropy decreases.

[bigjaredmonkey]

Granted. You also learn of every hallucination or delusion in human history and go quite mad as a result.

I wish for something to happen such that the universe's entropy decreases.

granted, but the cake is a lie, causing the universe's entropy to hug you in your awakeness, making you cease to exist.

i wish that i had an army of plate mooks.

[Shoruke]

Granted. Every piece of dishware in your house is replaced with a one-inch diameter plastic plate. All of them are sentient, but lacking muscles, they can only wiggle a little bit and can't scream when you accidentally stab them. You monster, what have you created?

I wish my headache would go away. 

[Tawa]

Granted. Everybody else gets a headache instead.

I wish for a magic katana.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted it's flame enchanted and melts through your hands when you try to use it



I wish for better GMing skills

[Stirk]

Granted. You get better God Modder skills, and everyone hates you for it.

I wish to be the very best, like no one ever was...

[Andres]

...and almost immediately get deposed by your arch-rival Red.

I wish to become God of all Humans.

[Arcvasti]

Granted. You are overthrown by the United Dolphin Alliance, whom you have no power over.

I wish for flannel earmuffs to be mandatory ear wear across the cosmos.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but those who have no ears fall into despair.

I wish for a lifetime supply of food.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You receive a wafer-thin mint with a lethal dose of cyanide.

I wish to sell a bathtub.

[Andres]

Granted. You get paper clips and a Subway coupon for it.

I wish to be intensely gorgeous and loved by millions of people around the world.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You are hated by billions.

I wish for a paper clip.

[Andres]

Granted, because you lose all but one of the paper clips you already had.

I wish I had a flight-capable human body.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. It is not landing-capable.

I wish for a mountain made of dice.

[bigjaredmonkey]

Granted, said mountain of dice collapses on you after someone nudges it, and kills you.

.niw rof hsiw I