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[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, he fights with pancake. The resulting war destroys Bay12 and all therein.

I wish for more books.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. All of them are filled with cognitohazardous imagery.

I wish for a real life cognitohazardous image.

[Arcvasti]

Granted. Yeah, you're not going to be allowed to keep that. Enjoy your new life as a government-sanctioned lab rat.

I wish for heavenly ukuleles.

[Tawa]

Granted. They descend from the other side of the universe and play a song that sends you to the Astral Plane, never to be seen again.

I wish for an astral beast.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. A rhinoceros made of cosmic dust that shits comets barrels past the earth, knocking out all power and causing tremendous damage.

I wish for spaghetti.

[Tawa]

Granted. Myself and several other pasta[farians/mancers] kill you with spaghetti spears for profaning our lifesource.

I wish for the idiots in government to be replaced with more competent politicians than they are.

[Stirk]

Granted. However, the government is now run by chimpanzees. At least they throw less poop.

I wish to be able to turn guns into humans, who could still transform into guns.

[jaxy15]

Granted. They're all vegetables.

I wish for a pillow case filled with rocks.

[flabort]

Granted. All your pillows are missing and all you have are cases filled with obsidian, the sharpest rock there is. Sleeping earns you many cuts on the face.

I wish for missing files.

[drone1230]

I wish for missing files.

Granted. Their still missing though, so you just need to find them.

I wish for the ability to summon a perfect copy of myself at will.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, it's evil and uses you as slave labour to enact its nefarious schemes.

I wish for Baba Yaga.

[hops]

Granted. It eats all the babbies.

I wish to know how babby is formed.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you are told how baby bacteria are produced and then told that's not the way other babies are made.

I wish for Smaug.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, your chances of survival are directly correlated to the value of gifts you give him.

I wish for something made of rice.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
It's an poison extracted from the rice

I wish for the next poster to act morality