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[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, bodies shatter in the cold and everything disintegrates very quickly and underground is the only safe place.

I wish I could make golems.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. They remain inanimate.

I wish for a(n actually) magic marker.

[Stirk]

Granted. You get an actual magic marker. It can write, but not do much else, as that is all actual magic markers can do.

I wish to be the best at everything I attempt to do.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. One of those things is Dying of Random, Anticlimactic Accidents.

I wish for an iron meteorite (not a meteor or a meteoroid).

[Moon Label]

Granted! Problem is, the earth is covered in microscopic iron meteroites.  One of those, out there, somewhere, is yours!

I wish that I had a comfier better chair.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted it's made of yellow cake uranium and you die soon after sitting in it and squishing it


I wish for teh funnies

[drone1230]

I wish for teh funnies

Wish granted, but you get the funnies so hard that you fall over and break your neck.

I wish that my roll to dodge game would go faster.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted it surpasses speed of light and begins to travel back in time and eventualy goes before you were born stopping the game only to be replayed over and over and over again for all eternity



I wish I had bowls ( the things you eat out of not the intestinal things)

[drone1230]

I wish I had bowls ( the things you eat out of not the intestinal things)

Granted, but the bowls are actually spaceships for tiny gremlin aliens that will sneak into your house and push buttons.

I wish that it an hour ago.

[Noel.se]

Granted. The missing part is "killed me".

I wish I had good headphones.

[Boes]

Granted, however your ears fall off due to an out of control chemical reaction between the headphones and your skin.

I wish I had a wish

[drone1230]

I wish I had a wish

Granted, but your wish will be corrupted. Muahahahahahahaha!

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted your head explodes because your wish was retained for too long



I wish for sleep and not that whole sleeping beauty you sleep forever crap I mean I wish I got a solid 9 hours of sleep a day

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

Granted. But, If you fail to sleep for at least nine hours a day you will never sleep again.

I wish I wasn't sick.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted you're in a coma instead


I wish people weren't always so literal