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[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted he holds a gun to every players head and forces them to play forever and ever and ever and ever and ever


I wish for wishes to be sentient beings like meseeks from rick and Morty and when used they poof away and the wish is granted, maybe they have the name Iwish

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, this convolution of the wishes causes the wishes to explode and destroy earth

I wish this

Granted he holds a gun to every players head and forces them to play forever and ever and ever and ever and ever

was true.

[Andres]

Granted. It's F.A.T.A.L.

I wish to be Batman. Yes, even with the dead parents. Because you should ALWAYS be Batman.

[Boes]

Granted you are batman in your own mind only and are soon committed to the insane asylum.  after losing everything to marvel for copyright infringement.

I wish I could control time.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted, your time control devise was created in form of a tardis but instead of a telephone booth it is a porta potty and smells like one


I wish for good coffee

[Boes]

Granted,  you are handed the perfect cup of coffee and promptly spill it in your lap causing severe burns prior to ever getting a sip.

I wish I a better job than pushing minecarts

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

granted you push strollers around and work at a daycare center for mentaly unstable children


I wish i had eaten this morning

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, after you swallow the morning you go and gobble up the afternoon and finish the evening for dessert. You plunge the world into an eternal freezing night.

I wish for an ice age to come about.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

granted it was caused by me eating the times of day and there is no light, the world is freezing and on the third day all water including that in your body freezes killing everything


I wish for a real wish

[Lenglon]

Granted, you realize that you want a real, live nyancat...
too bad you spent your wish on finding out you wanted it.

I wish I could mute and unmute people.

[Aslandus]

Granted, everyone beats you up to get their voices back

I wish I could see into forever

[Boes]

Granted you are able to only see 0.0000000001 miliseconds of the forever before your vision burns out and your head explodes.
 

granted you push strollers around and work at a daycare center for mentaly unstable children

this sounds like fun... then I can do real dwarven child care experiments.     

I wish i had eaten this morning

I wish I could do real dwarven child care experiments   

[jaxy15]

Granted. You are arrested for child abuse.

I wish my skin was made out of steel.

[Lenglon]

Granted, but it isn't flexible. Welcome to being a living statue.

I wish I had a tail to tell.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, it's as full of eggcorns as that wish.

I wish the temperature would drop.