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[WillowLuman]

Granted, you **** up causality.

I wish for a fruit salad.

[hops]

Granted. Hannibal Lecter force-fed you a salad filled with mutilated gay people.

I wish for a perpetual motion machine.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, they throw a car into space.

I wish for a blender.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted.

How do you get a baby into a bowl?

Spoiler: I'm sorry (click to show/hide)

Blender.

Spoiler: I'm so sorry (click to show/hide)

I wish I knew how to get this baby out of the bowl...

[Lenglon]

Granted, the answer is MORE BLENDER

I wish I had a naturally fire-colored lilly.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, it burns your hand.

I wish to be leet.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You are literally the word "leet".

I wish I could get through the Amoeba part of D6 (in Metro 2033) without using my precious, precious Military-Grade ammunition that I'll actually never even have a chance to spend again at any point in the game.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

Granted. You are literally the word "leet".

I wish I could get through the Amoeba part of D6 (in Metro 2033) without using my precious, precious Military-Grade ammunition that I'll actually never even have a chance to spend again at any point in the game.

Granted, but as soon as you complete it your game crashes while saving and corrupts all data.

I wish I could draw faces.

[Stirk]

You can, but as faces don't fire bullets you lose your next quick draw match and, as such, are dead.

I wish that I could turn back time, 'cause now the guilt is all mine...

[Erils]

Granted, you can only travel backward in time, never forward. Have fun being unable to see the effects of your actions.

I wish that all my stuff finally arrived so I could unpack it.

[Noel.se]

Granted. Your stuff is nitroclycerin.

I wish to know whether it will blend.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. Anything you think of will now be blended so that you will know whether or not the object will blend. This includes yourself or pieces of it or your liver or your kidneys or your lungs or your heart or your brain or your eyes or your tongue or...

I wish to spend the last moments of my now-probably-shortened-and-blended life gliding over a crowded area

[RAM]

Granted, but it is raining, and there are umbrellas, and all evidence of your departure is washed away without notice.

I wish that this page was leet.

[Kilojoule Proton]

6r4nt3d.

1 vv154 f0r t415 p493 t0 2t0p 631n9 p53ud01337.

[Tawa]

gratned it si 4chanleet

i wish the threda was bay21lete