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[Tawa]

Granted. If you could, you would. But you don't.

I wish that somebody had commented on my previous wishes.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted, the comments are in an language that is invisible to the human eye

I wish i could spell

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you spell yourself into Tawarochir's dinner.

I wish I had money.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You had money but no longer do.

I wish for a speck of gold dust.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

granted the wind blows it into your sinus cavity and causes a tumor in your brain

I wish i was imunne to viruses

[Tawa]

Granted. You are named I. Munne, and you were an actor in a movie called Viruses. The sequel, "To Viruses", is announced, and you are forced to act in it by your contract, even though it is horrible. Your reputation is forever besmirched.

On the plus side, you're never sick.

I wish my sunglasses didn't interfere with certain computer screens.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. Your eyes' lenses now interfere with elements of the set of certain computer screens.

I wish all sunglasses wore dictators.

[Tawa]

Granted. You vote for President Ray-Ban and are crushed under his iron fist.

I wish for m4d h4xX0r1nG 5k1l15.

[Worldmaster27]

I can't read that, so I'll guess.

Granted, your mother [REDACTED] and that is why, children, we never ever eat pudding in sub-zero temperatures on the dark side of a moon that is hurtling towards the sun.

I wish [REDACTED] was replaced with kittens.

[Tawa]

Granted. Children looking up "kittens" on the internet are scarred everywhere.

I wish that Worldmaster understood my simple request for mad hacking skills.

[Arcvasti]

Granted. You gain hacking skills. And madness.

I wish for bumblebee honey.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
You are stung baddy

I wish this did not happen

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Granted something worse happened instead


I wish I were a dwarf in dwarf fortress

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
you die the worst death possible

I wish for something that is super evil

[Tawa]

Granted. You get me.

I wish for the ability to horse bomb people.