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[Tawa]

Granted. I quickly cast Arcane Mark on your face, write "Tawa" on it, summon a staff from thin air, hand it to you, and disappear. The authorities arrive and drag you into prison as you plead "I'm not Tawarochir! Nooo!"

I wish that it wasn't so hot out.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, it is now the surface temperature of Pluto outside.

I wish Pluto was a proper planet again.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. An enormous collision with another keiper-belt object forces Pluto's orbit into the regular orbital plane, increasing its periapsis such that it no longer crosses Neptune's orbit. It also puts it on a collision course with thousands of other objects, and causes that poor damn moon it has to collide with Pluto. Pluto doubles in mass and clears the neighborhood around its orbit, and astronomers are all very confused. Also, millions of chunks of debris are now on a collision course with Earth. You asshole.

I wish for more comfortable chairs.

[blazing glory]

Granted,they are so comfortable that you spend loads of time in them,your legs wither away into worthless bits of meat,you now spend time in a wheel chair,which is not comfortable.

I wish to know why the picture I was using for my avatar was suddenly deleted.

[Tawa]

Granted. It is because a small nuclear reactor exploded near your house, which destroyed the server hosting your image and also you.

I wish that I was taller.

[Lyeos]

Granted. However, it doesn't really help, since you're not also a baller.

I wish I was a baller; I'm already probably taller.

[Tawa]

Granted. You play basketball. You slam dunk a ball, which then hits your head as you come back down, giving you a concussion.

I wish for a cape.

[flabort]

Granted. You wear it all the time because it's the best damn cape ever. You even wear it while washing it and while washing yourself. It would be thoroughly ruined, but it's the best damn cape ever and is indestructible and dirt-resistant. But in 5 days time from putting it on, it gets snagged on a bulldozer's operation panel, and because it's the best damn cape ever and so long, you are outside the bulldozer getting dragged behind it now. Forever, because it's the best damn cape ever and you refuse to take it off, and nobody can catch up with the now out of control bulldozer.

I wish for more control over time.

[blazing glory]

Granted but time stops so it's pretty worthless.

I wish I wasn't aching in at least 5 places.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, but now you are falling from the sky with no parachute.

I wish for a species of sentient bricks.

[blazing glory]

Granted,but they look the same as ordinary bricks,for every sentient brick there is 30 ordinary ones,this makes it very hard to find them.

I wish all my favorite RtDs and forum games weren't dying off.

[Tawa]

Granted. Every other one dies off instead.

I wish that sausages would fly into my mouth.

[Aslandus]

I wish that sausages would fly into my mouth.

Granted, you suffocate from having your throat stuffed with sausages until you can't breathe

I wish for perfect teeth

[Tawa]

Granted. They are so perfect that the first time you see them in the mirror, you can't help but stand there and stare. You end up doing this until you die of thirst.

I wish the sink was fixed.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted, your sink cannot reproduce anymore.

I wish no one was sad.